Helping kids overcome the “green-eyed monster” of jealousy

Let’s face it everyone has faced the terrible “green-eyed monster” of jealousy at one time or another in their life, if not many times. So how do we help our kids learn to deal with jealously in a positive way so that they have the skill for life? The key is to teach them about keeping their personal power and not giving it away to a green-eyed monster or anyone else!

 Dr Rosina McAlpine

Dr Rosina McAlpine

Consider this. Does your child give their power away to other people or things outside them? Does your child say things like “I wish I was like _________ or I’m so jealous of ___________ or it’s not fair why can _________ have everything and I can’t” and in this way give their power away to people and things outside themselves? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then like most other parents, you have a typical child... jealously is a perfectly normal behaviour for kids and even adults at times too. But, jealousy is not a nice feeling and can lead to terrible behaviours if left unchecked, so being able to deal with it is such an important skill to have.

What if you could help your child learn to claim and use their own personal power by looking inwards at their unique strengths and qualities rather than outwards at other? What if you could help your child to just be happy with who they are and to learn that they are responsible for their own feelings, thoughts and behaviours?  This would be empowering right?

If your children are always comparing themselves to others or are jealous of other children and the things they have, then their focus is outside themselves and they have given away their personal power. Feeling jealous of others can make a child feel less than others and feel powerless because they can’t control things outside themselves, but they have the ability to control what they thing and feel if they know how.

While it may take some time, helping your children understand that they can accept and love themselves and take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and actions will mean they will have a happier life. Taking charge of their lives in this way allows them to claim their personal power. I know this is not an easy concept to grasp at first, but either was reading or maths or anyone thing your child has learned to do. But with patience and careful instruction by exploring and discussing your child’s personal power around jealousy you can really empower your child and help them to understand that they:

1. are responsible for creating their feelings of jealousy and so they can choose not to feel jealous and

2. can learn how to appreciate who they are and use their personal power to respond to life situations as they arise

If your child needs a boost to their personal power, you can help them with 12 easy-to-complete activities in my Personal Power Life skills Home Activity eBook. The step-by-step activities only take 15 minutes at a time and help your child develop a positive attitude, healthy self-esteem and resilience. Find out more about your how your child can benefit from a Life Skills Approach to Parenting.