Inspiring Teens to Set and Achieve Goals the Win Win Parenting Way

Navigating the teen years can be wonderful and it can also be challenging at times.  As a parent you want your teen to succeed in life and one way to do that is to help them set clear goals, work out the action steps then support them to complete the tasks until success is achieved.

In this interview with the lovely Jennifer Matthews from Parenting Ambitious Teens,  Dr Rosina, parenting expert,  talks about the Win Win Parenting way to raising children and helping them to become happy, healthy and capable adults. 

http://parentingambitiousteens.com/rosinamcalpine/

BONUS

Jen has summarised the key points from the interview and provided you with some links to resources too - so have a look at the page!

You can also enjoy interviews with other teen experts on Jen's podcast series at  http://parentingambitiousteens.com/

Strategies to support resilience

Life is not always easy and we all encounter setbacks, obstacles and difficulties at one time or another. How resilient are your children when it comes to navigating life’s challenges? How do your children handle life’s downs? Are they OK if they lose a race, fail a test, fall over and hurt themselves or have a disappointment? Resilience is the ability to get up and move on when things are tough, some of the most successful people failed the first time but were resilient enough to persevere. Help your children understand that  “you never fail until you give up”. Help your child

1. understand what it means to be resilient

2. learn about some of the strategies to help them cope with adversity and bounce back when times are tough.

What is self-esteem and self-confidence and how do you get it?

What is self-esteem and self-confidence and  how do you get it?

Self-esteem and self-confidence are words we use regularly in our day-to-day discussions with friends, family, colleagues, peers and with our children. Many people use the words interchangeably, assume they have the same meaning and even define one using the other but what most people don’t know is that they are NOT the same and that it’s important to know the difference as it can have a huge impact on the quality of your life.

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Helping Kids Learn How to Be Healthy

Helping Kids Learn How to Be Healthy

Good health is a great foundation upon which to build a great life. The press is filled with scary news about how our children are obese and unhealthy. So as a parent what can you do to help your kids learn about how to be healthy? One important part of child development is instilling knowledge and good habits around eating and exercise. What kids learn about health when they are young will help them throughout their whole life.

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‘Treats’ or ‘weekend food’

Parents often call sweets, chocolates, crisps, cakes and biscuits ‘treats’. Generally, children LOVE their ‘treats’ and will do almost anything to get them. While calling unhealthy junk foods ‘treats’ may seem harmless, but upon closer consideration it may actually be more harmful than helpful. Instead of using the word treat, call junk food exactly it is, by its name or call it weekend food and explain that it is only weekend food rather than everyday food.  Talking about junk food - the sugary, fatty and processed foods as weekend food:

1. helps parents understand that how they name ‘unhealthy’ foods can affect how their children feel and behave in relation to those foods, and

2. explores helpful ways to label and educate children about sweets etc…

Does your child have good friends?

Friendship is such an important part of life. Just one true friend can make all the difference when your child needs support. On the other hand, if a child gets in with “the wrong crowd” this can take their life into directions parents would rather not think about. Discuss this topic with your child by asking them about their friendships. Also relate your personal stories of your own friendships make sure you include both the good and bad focussing on the lessons you learned. This:

1. helps your child further develop their understanding of the qualities of a good friend

2. invites them to take a close look at their current closest friends and see if they are good friends

3. enables you to understand who your child has chosen as close friends and to share your beliefs and ideas about friendship with your child.

The Importance of Attachment

Attachment is an emotional bond and connection to another person. Psychologist John Bowlby was the first attachment theorist, describing attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings" (Bowlby, 1969, p. 194).

Bowlby believed that the earliest bonds formed by children with their caregivers have a tremendous impact that lasts throughout life. According to Bowlby, attachment also serves to keep the infant close to the mother, thus improving the child's chances of ‘survival’.

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The many benefits of gratitude

Are your children grateful for the people, the possessions and the experiences in their lives? Well, research shows that it can be of benefit for your children to develop an “attitude of gratitude”. Being grateful helps children become aware of and appreciate the good things in their lives and not take them for granted. This allows children to know what is important in their life and what makes them happy, which helps them identify and achieve life goals for a full and inspired life !

Studies also show both mental and physical benefits for people who are actively grateful on a daily basis. For example:

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Discipline that supports good self-esteem: focusing on behaviour rather than the child

When disciplining, our communication can support our children to develop of a strong sense of self or it can make them doubt themselves. 

For example, if our words focus on the child’s behaviour we can help them learn how to act in the world appropriately without hurting their self-esteem. To explain with an example, let’s say your child refuses to share their toys – a common developmental stage for toddlers. If your communication is along the lines of “oh you’re a naughty boy. Why can’t you be more like your friend Braden he shares his toys? Good boys share with their friends when will you learn to share with your friends?”

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Raising Inspired Babies – Part 2

Healthy babies: eliminating toxins and stress

My last blog post featured the work of Jan Roberts, author of Great Stuff to Know before you Conceive. I interviewed Jan on the Inspired Children Radio Show and she shared her extensive knowledge and insights on the topic of preconception, conception, pregnancy, birth and babies. She had so much to say I had to summarise it in a three part series. In part 1, Jan talked about preparing for conception (the preconception period) and shared her insights into helping parents conceive and raise healthy and happy babies. In part 2 below, there is more on conceiving babies by eliminating toxins and stress in order to prepare for the body for conceiving and a growing a healthy child. The final part in the series is on pregnancies and childbirth.

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Raising Inspired Babies – Part 3

Healthy Pregnancy and Childbirth

Every expectant mother wishes for a stress and illness free pregnancy and hopes for an easy birth – but unfortunately it does not always work out that way. There are ways you can support this special time in your life. I interviewed Jan and in part 1, Jan talked about preparing for conception and shared her insights into helping parents conceive and raise healthy and happy babies. In part 2 she provided ways to decrease toxins and stress supporting the health of parents and babies. In this final part in the series here’s what Jan had to say about health pregnancies and childbirth.

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Self-esteem: more about internal validation than external praise

Self-esteem: more about internal validation than external praise

Think back to your childhood. Were you introverted or extroverted? Were you confident or insecure? Were you a risk taker or risk adverse? Did you rely on others for praise or did you look inside or a combination of the two to work out your self-concept?

When I think back to my childhood, I was one of those children who was sometimes considered to be a bit 'annoying' by my teachers. Why? Because I was the noisy one in class! I loved learning so much that I wanted to participate in class and so I was always blurting out the answer or when I managed to restrain myself, I was begging to be picked because I knew the answers. I was an inquisitive student and unafraid of having a go, which meant that I didn’t leave much room for others to have turn! I did very well at school– proof that inquisitiveness, hard work and a love of learning do lead to academic success. With all of that, you’d think that I’d have a strong sense of self and good self-esteem. But unfortunately, that wasn't the case. It was only many years later that I realised that as a child, I lacked the life skills needed to empower myself.

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Does your child have limiting beliefs?

Does your child have limiting beliefs?

Many times parents ask me about what they can do to change their child’s behaviour. For example, I received an email from a distraught mother asking for help.  “My son doesn’t have any friends, he gets picked on at school and he never stands up for himself. What can I do to help him?” Unfortunately this is a common story for many school children.

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Becoming an Unconditional Parent

Becoming an Unconditional Parent

Have you considered how ‘conditional’ life is and especially how conditional it is for children?

I've been confronted with the notion of becoming an ‘unconditional parent’. As parents, we often unconsciously set conditions and rules for our children that rob them of the chance to learn how to make good choices and why they should make good decisions so as to empower themselves. For example here are some common ‘conditional’ statements

"If you eat all your vegetables, then you can have..."

“If you don’t do your homework, then there will be no …”

"If you have a good rest now, then you'll be able to..."

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Helping children understand and manage emotions

Helping children understand and manage emotions

Take a moment to think back to your childhood. Do you recall times when an adult scoffed at your concerns and dismissed your emotions? How did it make you feel? Now, think about whether you take your child’s emotions seriously? If not, how do think this makes your child feel?

Acknowledge his emotions and help him to express them

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Are you feeling guilty about not spending enough time with your kids?

Are you feeling guilty about not spending enough time with your kids?

Parents often feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children. Life is so busy with work, taking care of the home and all of the things that need to be done of when raising a family so there is often so little time to spend with the kids.

It’s easy to see that if parents don’t spend quality time with their children, their children could come to the conclusion that they are not important and this can harm a child’s sense of self.

So what can busy parents do?

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Understanding your child’s brain – why it is so important for parenting

Understanding your child’s brain – why it is so important for parenting

Understanding how your child’s brain works is key to be able to parent well. Have you ever wondered why your child behaves the way they do? Understanding how the brain functions and develops will help you support your child's brain development and empower them to be the best they can be in life.

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Developing the skills to be a great parent

Join Dr Rosina McAlpine and Dr Robyn Mills as they explore how to develop the knowledge and skills to be a great parent (listen here).  You wouldn't drive a car without months of practice and reading the law in regard to driving on our roads.  You wouldn't go out on a professional football field without years of training and understanding the rules of the game.  You wouldn't cut someone's hair without instruction and experience ... yet most of us became parents and learnt our skills on the job and only got help if a crisis occurred.  

Dr Rosina McAlpine became a parent 6 years ago and since then she's been researching the latest in child development and  parenting. You'll hear about the skills and knowledge parents need to be proactive in parenting rather than just reactive.  We all know that parenting is one of the most important roles in life, and the more tools and knowledge you have the easier and more enjoyable it is!

3 Steps to a Happy, Confident Child

Child development expert Dr Rosina McAlpine shows how to boost your child’s confidence and beat the back-to-school stress.

STEP 1: Use Actions Not Words
How often have you said, “Not now, I’m on the phone” or “I’m too busy”? 
“Most parents are very busy, which adds to the stress of dealing with children,” Dr Rosina McAlpine says. “But how would you feel if someone talked to you that way? It’s important to let your kids know you value their opinions as much as anyone else’s” Instead of hurting your child’s feelings, try these solutions

On the phone Ask the person to hold, then say to your child “I’m very interested in what you have to say but I can’t talk now. I’ll be off the phone in ten minutes and we’ll talk then.”
When busy “Sorry darling I’m busy doing something for work. Let’s talk about it at dinner.”

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