We’ve all done it – taken the quick fix way – given in, bribed, begged, rewarded or threatened our kids to get them to listen in the moment.
In this busy life where there are so many distractions, such as mobile phones, television, conversations, exercising, work, housework, beauty treatments and let’s not forget our friends, it is quicker and sometimes less demanding to take the easier choice in regard to our children with our parenting choices.
Ok, so you do it now and again… what’s the harm? Probably none … but are we taking the easy way out day in- day out?
This may mean giving in when a child nags for something or simply not being present to their needs and putting on the television as a baby sitter. These things may bring instant peace and quiet to the home allowing the parent to get on with their tasks, but the question we ask today is how will this shape them as members of your family, now and in the future?
How can we have a win/win so that parents and children get what they need?
For example: if we reward children for reading or eating their vegetables as a quick fix to getting them to learn and eat well – we can find it backfires in the long term. Kids then don’t read because it is fun to read – they read to get the reward – so if there’s no reward – no reading! We want kids to LOVE reading for the joy of reading not to get a reward.
And my friend told me that she praises her son for eating his veggies saying what a good boy he is. I told her my concerns and sure enough my concerns were clear to her as well - the other day her son hid his veggies and said he’d eaten them when she later found them and questioned him – her 6 year old son said he did it because he liked it when his mum said he was a good boy! Oh no – he isn’t eating veggies because they’re good for him he’s eating them for love!
In this interview Dr Robyn Mills interviews Dr Rosina Mcalpine on how parents can avoid quick fixes like this that can have long term negative consequences for kids and is filled with practical solutions to the everyday problems of families like eating well, potty training, death in the family and when you feel that kids just won't listen.
Download Dr Rosina's free parenting guide at www.DrRosina.com
Learn how you can teach your children key life skills like good self esteem, eating well, communication skills and managing emotions in just 15 minutes at a time