Search Results

Does your child give their power away to other people or things outside them? Does your child say things like “that person makes me angry” or “you made me do that” or “she makes me jealous” or “having that thing makes me happy” and in this way give their power away to people and things outside themselves? OR does your child claim and use their own power by acknowledging that they are responsible for their own feelings, thoughts and behaviours? If a child believes people and things outside them have power over their thoughts, feelings and actions then they can feel powerless as they can’t control things outside themselves. If a child takes responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings and actions then they are in control and powerful.

Parents often call sweets, chocolates, crisps, cakes and biscuits ‘treats’. Generally, children LOVE their ‘treats’ and will do almost anything to get them. While calling unhealthy junk foods ‘treats’ may seem harmless, but upon closer consideration it may actually be more harmful than helpful. Instead of using the word treat, call junk food exactly it is, by its name or call it weekend food and explain that it is only weekend food rather than everyday food.  Talking about junk food - the sugary, fatty and processed foods as weekend food: 1. helps parents understand that how they name ‘unhealthy’ foods can affect how their children feel and behave in relation to those foods, and 2. explores helpful ways to label and educate children about sweets etc…

Friendship is such an important part of life. Just one true friend can make all the difference when your child needs support. On the other hand, if a child gets in with “the wrong crowd” this can take their life into directions parents would rather not think about. Discuss this topic with your child by asking them about their friendships. Also relate your personal stories of your own friendships make sure you include both the good and bad focussing on the lessons you learned. This: 1. helps your child further develop their understanding of the qualities of a good friend. 2. invites them to take a close look at their current closest friends and see if they are good friends. 3. enables you to understand who your child has chosen as close friends and to share your beliefs and ideas about friendship with your child.

Attachment is an emotional bond and connection to another person. Psychologist  John Bowlby  was the first attachment theorist, describing attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings" (Bowlby, 1969, p. 194). Bowlby believed that the earliest bonds formed by children with their caregivers have a tremendous impact that lasts throughout life. According to Bowlby, attachment also serves to keep the infant close to the mother, thus improving the child's chances of ‘survival’. Infants become attached to adults who are sensitive and responsive in  social interactions  with them, and who remain as consistent caregivers for some months during the period from about six months to two years of age. When an infant begins to crawl and walk they begin to use attachment figures (familiar people) as a secure base to explore from and return to. Parental responses lead to the development of patterns of attachment; these, in turn, lead to internal working models which will guide the individual's perceptions, emotions, thoughts and expectations in later relationships. Separation  anxiety  or grief following the loss of an attachment figure is considered to be a normal and  adaptive  response for an attached infant. These behaviours may have evolved because they increase the probability of survival of the child. “The central theme connected to attachment is that mothers who are available and responsive to their baby's needs establish a felt sense of security in their children. Your baby knows that you as the caregiver are dependable, which creates a secure base for your child to then explore their world.” [1] The Key Components of Attachment There are four key components of attachment: Secure Base: The caregiver provides a secure and dependable base for the child to explore the world. Separation Distress/Anxiety: When separated from the caregiver, the child will become upset and distressed. Safe Haven: When the child feels threatened or afraid, he or she can return to the caregiver for comfort and soothing. Proximity Maintenance: The child strives to stay near the caregiver, thus keeping the child safe.  Attachment theory and concepts are here and here to stay. Attachment parenting is undertaken often times naturally. I have no doubt attachment began when parenting began but the theory helps us understand the importance of positive attachment relationships. Give your baby a sense of connectedness in infancy and give them the best start in life. Connect through observation, mirroring and responding  [2]  and maximise the potential for mutual communication and understanding. “Our brain development, our emotional development -- even our later ability to control our emotional selves, our tempers and delay gratification -- all depend on having our innate relationship needs met as infants.” [3] Attachment Parenting is as flexible as you want it to be. Every parent who knows the principles can use it intuitively to suit the needs of their baby. Do not think of it as a set of rigid rules. As always, use your own parenting know how and intuition to decide what's best for you and your family. [4] Vivien Sabel UKCP MBACP ScPTI Author of The Blossom Method™ The Revolutionary Way To Communicate With Your Baby From Birth available on  Amazon Relational Psychotherapist/Clinical Supervisor/Researcher http://www.viviensabel.com [1]  This quote was taken from Dr. Laura Markham’s blog Attachment Parenting http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/attachment-parenting [2]  Observation, mirroring and responding are the three core components of The Blossom Method™. [3]  This quote was taken from Dr. Laura Markham’s blog Attachment Parenting http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/attachment-parenting [4]  This was adapted from Dr. Laura Markham’s blog Attachment Parenting http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/attachment-parenting

Parenting expert Dr Rosina talks about the funny side of parenting. What do you do when your child has splattered yoghurt all over your kitchen and it’s the last thing you need right now? Do you yell, laugh or cry? Find out what Dr Rosina did and how she learned many valuable parenting lessons from that messy life experience. She realised it’s OK to make mistakes as a parent, say sorry and have another go… this teaches your child so many valuable life lessons. ALSO, learn more about how to help your child stay fit and healthy and avoid becoming one of the growing statistics for children who are overweight or have type two diabetes.

When disciplining, our communication can support our children to develop of a strong sense of self or it can make them doubt themselves.  For example, if our words focus on the child’s behaviour we can help them learn how to act in the world appropriately without hurting their self-esteem. To explain with an example, let’s say your child refuses to share their toys – a common developmental stage for toddlers. If your communication is along the lines of “oh you’re a naughty boy. Why can’t you be more like your friend Braden he shares his toys? Good boys share with their friends when will you learn to share with your friends?” Calling a child a naughty boy or comparing them to others can really hurt their self-esteem. Children can internalise “I am naughty and I’m not good enough” which is obviously harmful to their self-esteem. However, if parents focus on the child’s behaviour in their communication this can help them learn how to act in the world appropriately without hurting their sense of self.  For example:  “You know I love you, but what you’re doing right now is not OK. Playing together and sharing your toys with friends is important. Can you see how Braden is upset now that you won’t share your toys? You like it when other children share toys with you don’t you? What toy will you like to share with Braden? You can choose any toy you would like to offer him, come on pick something.” Children may not choose anything to share the first time you try this and you may need to do this many times until they start to understand and cooperate. It’s all about learning over time in a gentle and caring way – one which supports your child’s development and their sense of self. Allowing your child to choose the toy they want to share shows them you that acknowledge the toys are theirs, that you value their choices and most importantly it shows that you respect them. This helps build good self-esteem.  Little by little, sharing will become a natural part of life as the fear of their toys being taken away declines and the joy of playing together becomes more important.  Sharing is a wonderful skill for life!

The Importance of the time before conception - preconception Raising Inspired Children begins even before the baby is conceived. Sadly, current statistics indicate that couples are finding it increasingly problematic to conceive and with the number of stressful and difficult pregnancies on the rise, many couples are left in financial and emotional turmoil after simply trying to bring a beautiful being into this world. While doing research for my book,  Inspired Children: How the leading minds of to day raised their children , I included the work of Jan Roberts the author of  Great Stuff to Know Before you Conceive  among many other books. Jan's research into preconception and pregnancy guides future parents through the stages of preconception, conception, birth, pregnancy, and toddlerhood. I interviewed Jan on so she could share her knowledge and insights with all the parents in the Inspired Children community. She had so much to say I have summarised it in a three part series. Here is what Jan had to say about preparing for conception (the preconception period) and her insights into helping parents conceive and raise healthy and happy babies. The concepts surrounding preconception Having Inspired Babies begins long before conception and pregnancy. Before the doctor, doula, obstetrician, midwife, or hospitals enter the picture, raising inspired children starts with prospective parents who are committed to giving their baby the best possible start in life and the best start in life begins with proper nutrition. An abundance of key vitamins, minerals, trace elements, essential fatty and amino acids are pivotal building blocks of life. The preconception period revolves around a well-balanced diet for both the future mum and dad, since the health and viability of both the gametes (egg and sperm) are crucial for successful fertilization and conception. Vitamins, minerals, and trace elements like Zinc, Iodine, and Folic Acid not only boost gamete production, but also improve the vitality and quality of the eggs and sperm being released, which in turn, reduces the risk of many common birth defects. The magic number is "4" Couples who are planning to conceive should think about implementing a preparation scheme and dietary plan at least four months before their intended conception timeframe. This number is not pulled out of thin air; there's a scientific reason behind it. Starting a detox program, changing your dietary habits, getting lots of exercise, and cutting out various vices (especially cigarettes, drugs and alcohol) four months in advance allows ample time for beneficial nutrients and amino acids to become incorporated into the formation of the eggs and sperm and toxins to be flushed from the body. This timetable also enables the body to build up reserves of key nutritional elements in preparation for conception. Preconception programs aren't only for women Future mums aren't the only ones that should be preoccupied with preparing for conception and pregnancy. When it comes to making Inspired Babies, healthy, viable eggs are only half the equation. Dads-to-be should take every precaution to ensure that their sperm is also in a healthy condition. Thanks to the science of Epigenetics, we now know that physical, emotional, and nutritional deficiencies are inheritable and can affect the quality of the gametes. Dr Bruce Lipton goes into this in great detail in chapter 1 of  Inspired Children: How the leading minds of today raised their children . Studies have shown that there are possible links between the risk of obesity in children and obese parents, therefore, minimizing the exposure of both parents to harmful lifestyle choices gives their offspring the greatest opportunity to achieve their full potential.  Preconception Checklist Before making babies, would-be parents may want to tick off a few items on this Preconception checklist: In consultation with a nutritionist, begin a pregnancy dietary program at least four months before the planned timeframe for conception. Consult with a health professional such as a naturopath and stock up on key essential fatty and amino acids, minerals like Zinc, Magnesium, Iodine, and Calcium, and vitamins like Vitamins C, D, E, and the Vitamin B complex (which includes Folic Acid and Riboflavin). In consultation with your health practitioner, stop taking prescription medications (including oral contraceptives) at least four months prior to planned timeframe of conception. At least four months prior to conception, eliminate drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine from your lifestyle. Fresher is better. Where possible, eat fresh, organic foods and minimise your intake of canned or dried foods, especially those loaded with preservatives and additives. Minimise your exposure to electromagnetic radiation. Cut down on your use of microwaves, laptops, cell phones, and similar devices. In conjunction with your healthcare professional, engage in an exercise regime or any other means of staying mobile and active. Avoid excessive exposure to stressful situations and find time to relax and unwind. Take care of your emotional well-being by seeking the advice of a therapist or a group of good friends for mental and emotional support. Raising an Inspired Child begins long before your child is even conceived and so focusing on health and wellbeing in the preconception period is key. Both future parents need to ensure that they are mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared to embark on this wonderful, new phase in Life and are equipped with the necessary life skills to turn the science of Child Development into the art of Parenting. In parts 2 and 3 of my interview with Jan, she shares more of her insights into pregnancy and child birth. Stay tuned! About Jan Roberts After earning a Bachelor's degree in Pharmacy in 1967, Jan worked for fifteen years in the field of Community Pharmacy. She subsequently completed her diploma in Clinical Nutrition and along the way, her interest in Preconception Care was awakened; an interest that hasn't died thirty years later. During her early years in Preconception Care, Jan observed and understood the plight of new Mums, especially those who had endured the rigours of having difficult pregnancies. She started The Breastfeeding Association and later developed  The Better Babies Series  as a way to promote Preconception Care and help new parents prepare for pregnancy, childbirth, and the joys of Parenthood.

Healthy babies: eliminating toxins and stress My last blog post featured the work of Jan Roberts, author of Great Stuff to Know before you Conceive. I interviewed Jan on the Inspired Children Radio Show and she shared her extensive knowledge and insights on the topic of preconception, conception, pregnancy, birth and babies. She had so much to say I had to summarise it in a three part series. In part 1, Jan talked about preparing for conception (the preconception period) and shared her insights into helping parents conceive and raise healthy and happy babies. In part 2 below, there is more on conceiving babies by eliminating toxins and stress in order to prepare for the body for conceiving and a growing a healthy child. The final part in the series is on pregnancies and childbirth. There's more than just nature in our food Sadly, chemicals are now a part of our food supply. Long gone are the days when our meals were predominantly home-cooked with produce grown in nature. Thousands of artificial dyes, flavours, preservatives, and conditioners may be added to cans and other packaged foods and thanks to complex food labelling laws, many of these are never actually reported on the product's packaging. As such, future parents can easily be exposed to a variety of chemicals that are harmful to their own bodies and their unborn children. But our food supply isn't the only thing loaded with dangerous chemicals. Many household products and items that we use without a second thought are filled with artificial stabilisers and additives that may be safe in small doses, but our dependence on these items inadvertently exposes us to large quantities of harmful toxins. Shampoos, deodorants, other personal care items often contain parabens and other chemicals that are known to increase the risk of infertility, but because these items are usually in small quantities, they are considered safe for human consumption by most governing bodies. While this may be true, consider the fact that the simple act of getting ready for work in the mornings can expose both future parents to large quantities of parabens from the soap, shaving gels, lotions, perfumes, and hair products being used. The Solution: Reducing the risk to yourself and your unborn child can be as simple as going ‘green’. Certified organic products, home grown foods, and a few simple solutions from Grandma's pantry (like baking soda and vinegar) contain little or no preservatives or additives, which minimise the exposure of would-be Mums and Dads to harmful chemicals. Our technology addictions are harmful too In the fast paced modern world that we all live in, staying connected on the go is crucial. But the longer future Mums and Dads stay plugged into the grid, the higher their exposure is to electromagnetic radiation. Placing mobile devices in pockets and handbags or laptops on laps, means they are near reproductive organs, which exposes vulnerable gametes (eggs and sperm) to harmful radiation and this can have a negative impact on the health of an unborn children. The Solution: Although unplugging completely is virtually impossible, minimising exposure (especially during the preconception period and pregnancy) by cutting down on your online time, reheating food on the stovetop instead of the microwaves, or simply placing your laptop on a table instead of working with it in your lap can reduce the impact of electromagnetic radiation on your most vulnerable ones. Take a break from your prescriptions Prescription medicines can directly affect the health and viability of eggs and sperm, thus causing a plethora of issues for conception and an unborn child. The Solution: Long before their planned timeframe for conception, future Mums and Dads should consult medical practitioners to explore where they can cut back or eliminate prescription medicines and where possible find natural alternatives to treat their ailments. This is especially true when it comes to oral contraceptives, since it can take up to three months for a woman's hormone levels and egg production to return to normal. Stress and sweating the small stuff It's not science fiction; various experiments in the emerging science of Epigenetics have proven the effects of emotional trauma and poor life style choices on genes and how this damage can be passed down through the generations. Stress depletes the body's reserves of nutrients and energy, and weakens the immune system, which results in the production of eggs and sperm that aren't of optimal quality. The Solution: Mums and Dads-to-be need to invest time into discovering new ways to relax and unwind long before having children. Learning breathing techniques having a regular relaxing massage or taking a yoga or medication class are some of the many options for reducing stress. De-stressing boosts the effects of good nutrition and proper exercise, leading to the best conditions for conceiving healthy babies.  Unwinding with a massage encourages the release of the feel good hormone of love, Oxytocin, which is normally released when a mother breastfeeds. This hormone helps mothers bond with their babies and makes mothers feel happy, which in turn counters the effects of stress. Hit the gym Ready to exercise? Taking the time to exercise gets the heart pumping efficiently, which enhances circulation and improves the delivery of the healthy nutrients to vital organs and systems, including the reproductive organs. The Solution: Hitting the gym or any form of regular exercise is good for both parents and their future babies. Remember to consult your health practitioner before incorporating exercise into your daily routine. As part of a preconception program Mums and Dads-to-be can share and encourage each other to stay with the exercise routine. By sharing the experience together they can form positive emotional bonds with each other - promoting a sense of togetherness and stability within the household – perfect setting for a baby. Increasing the chance of bringing a healthy, happy baby into this world is the responsibility of both parents. Although this may seem daunting, keeping it simple is the best way – simple regular exercise routine, simple, nature and healthy foods and minimising stress go a long way! In the final part of this three part summary of my interview with Jan, she shares more of her insights into pregnancy and child birth. Stay tuned!

Healthy Pregnancy and Childbirth Every expectant mother wishes for a stress and illness free pregnancy and hopes for an easy birth – but unfortunately it does not always work out that way. There are ways you can support this special time in your life. I interviewed Jan and in part 1, Jan talked about preparing for conception and shared her insights into helping parents conceive and raise healthy and happy babies. In part 2 she provided ways to decrease toxins and stress supporting the health of parents and babies. In this final part in the series here’s what Jan had to say about health pregnancies and childbirth. The best way to support a healthy and stress free pregnancy is to start before conception! When it comes to conceiving an inspired and healthy child parents can benefit from a good preconception program, which in turn, helps them to have a healthy, stress-free pregnancy and ultimately improves the chances of having a natural birth without excessive medical intervention. This in turn leads to a great start for both child and Mum. Childhood trauma and how it affects Pregnancy and Childbirth Every cell in the human body is programmed to remember past trauma; this is simply Nature's way of helping humans avoid situations that are potentially harmful. If a woman had a difficult birth or pregnancy in the past, then her body will automatically remember the event. Unfortunately, this cell memory can make expectant mothers anxious and fearful about giving birth and, in the eyes of the experts of epigentics, this cell memory can be passed along the family tree, adversely impacting the health of future generations. Overcoming anxiety starts with acknowledging the source of the trauma and exploring and overcoming the negative emotions that it evokes. Once the problem has been identified, if mums-to-be don’t believe they can resolve the issues on their own, they can seek professional support in order to de-stress and recalibrate their emotions. Physical activities boost the levels of feel good hormones that help soothe away fear. Most importantly, the mind is more powerful than most people realise, as such, repeating positive affirmations can help mothers mentally reprogram themselves and provide a boost of confidence in their ability to do what is already encoded in their DNA. Future Mums should learn to trust their maternal instincts and believe in themselves. Postnatal Depression Postnatal depression is a silent disease that has fast become a global epidemic, affecting 1 in 3 new mothers annually. The illness encompasses a variety of symptoms, from feeling lethargic (known as the Maternity Blues) and decreased sex drive to spells of anxiety, panic, and anger. New parents believe that they are powerless to fight this serious condition, but surprisingly, the onset and the psychological, physical, and emotional damage from Postnatal Depression can be delayed or counteracted by using a combination of nutritional care, mental support, and a well-rounded Preconception Care program. One way to reduce the chance of Postnatal Depression is to tackle the hormonal imbalances that are often associated with the condition. At least four months before the planned conception timeframe, future Mums should ensure that their hormone levels are stable and normal by visiting their doctors for a thorough physical. Getting the right nutrients, vitamins, minerals, essential fatty and amino acids through a well-balanced diet is a great way to help maintain balanced hormone levels. Staying active and getting lots of exercise complements any balanced nutritional program, since doing so ensures that important nutrients are adequately distributed throughout the body and encourages the release of beneficial neurotransmitters like the hormone Oxytocin, which causes feelings of euphoria and happiness. Dealing with Misinformation and Confusion Shortly after giving birth to our son, Cameron, my husband and I realised that we were needed a lot of help when it came to raising a happy, healthy and well-balanced child. Instincts and intuition are very valuable but it’s not enough. Parents natural instincts combined with good information empowers parents to be confident in their decisions. For example research shows that having a baby sleep in the same room as the parents in the early days of life reduces the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome in babies by 30%. Now that is good information to have when deciding where the baby should sleep! As many couples prepare for the joys of becoming new parents, they realise that they are faced with a plethora of challenges and questions. My book,  Inspired Children: How the leading minds of today raised their children    provides parents with the latest research from pre-conception to teen years from experts from all over the world. Most importantly it is easy to read and turns the science of Child Development into the art of Parenting.

The Anti-Princess Club: Writer mum creates girls’ book series minus the princesses JANE HANSEN LISA MAYOH, THE SUNDAY TELEGRAPH, FEBRUARY 22, 2015 WHEN Samantha Turnbull went looking for inspiring books for her little girl Liberty she found nothing but princesses and fairies. Shocked at what she described as the “princessification” of everything and anything aimed at young girls right down to the newborn level, she decided to do something about it. The result is The Anti-Princess Club, a new book that has old-school princess stereotypes firmly in its sights. “I went to the department store to buy some books for my daughter when she was only a few months old and there was not a single book that didn’t have a princess or a fairy,” she said. “I wanted to show her that there was more than one way to being a girl.” Read More

Research reveals technology limits for children have suffered as parents struggle to manage at home. Parenting expert Dr Rosina interviewed for Daily Telegraph article

To give our children the best chance to succeed in the world, we need to give them the skills to help them interact and communicate with others in a caring and respectful way. Learning social skills that help children to nurture relationships will help them make friends and be loving members of their family and their community.