The Power of Checking In: Simple Conversations That Can Change a Child’s Life

When was the last time you really checked in with your child or grandchild? Not just a quick “How was your day?”—but a real, meaningful chat about how they’re actually feeling?

With the rise in mental health concerns among young people, taking time to connect deeply with the kids in our lives is more important than ever. This week, Dr Rosina McAlpine, explores how parents and carers can support children through life’s ups and downs—and why positivity in the home matters more than you think.

The Alarming Rise in Mental Health Challenges Among Kids

Rosina shared a sobering reality:

"One in seven children experiences mental health challenges—just behind one in five adults."

For working parents, this can create a double load. Not only are they juggling work and family responsibilities, but they’re also navigating their children’s emotional wellbeing—often without the support they need themselves. When a child is struggling, it inevitably affects the entire family’s mental health.

How Parents Can Support Kids When They’re Feeling Down

The first step? Check in. But not in a rushed, surface-level way. Create a safe, judgment-free space where your child feels genuinely heard.

Rosina emphasised:

“Don’t be too quick to dismiss what they’re feeling. If a child is sad or anxious, validate that. Don’t jump straight to fixing—just listen.”

Many kids won’t come out and say, “I need to talk.” Instead, they’ll act out or get “annoying” as a way of seeking attention. It’s their way of waving a little emotional flag.

Pro tip: When your child is acting up, try pausing for just two minutes. Stop what you're doing. Give them your full attention. Often, that's all they need to open up and move on with their day.

Why Positivity Matters in Family Life

So what exactly is positivity?

According to Dr Rosina, it’s not about pretending everything is perfect or ignoring real emotions. Rather:

“Positivity is a mindset—an openness to seeing the good around you, appreciating small joys, and choosing to respond with hope and kindness.”

Positivity matters

Practising positivity has been linked to:

• Greater resilience after failure

• Stronger relationships

• Higher levels of happiness and wellbeing

And yes—positivity is a choice, and it can be learned at any age.

“Our brains are neuroplastic,” Rosina explained. “We can train ourselves to be more positive, just like we learn maths or a new language.”

Strategies for Cultivating Positivity at Home

1. Start a Gratitude Practice Referencing a powerful study called "Count Your Blessings vs Burdens", Rosina shared that people who wrote daily gratitude journals reported:

   • Better emotional wellbeing

   • Improved physical health

   • Stronger social bonds

   Try this: At dinner, ask everyone to share three highlights of their day—only one can be about food!

2. Reframe Negative Moments When challenges arise, practise shifting your focus. Instead of reacting with frustration, pause and ask:“What can I learn from this?” or “What am I grateful for right now?”

3. Express Appreciation Out Loud Rosina’s favourite exercise? Write a letter to someone you’re grateful for. Revise it until it truly captures your feelings—then read it to them in person.Warning: tears (and hugs) may follow!

Final Thought: Let Positivity Be Contagious

Whether it’s putting on music to lift the morning mood or sharing a giggle with your child, positivity is contagious—and it starts with you.

So, here’s your challenge for today:

• Pause.

• Check in.

• Listen without fixing.

• Share a moment of gratitude.

What are you grateful for today?