Throw Selfish in the Rubbish”: Why Self-Care Isn’t a Luxury for Working Parents — It’s Essential

Keeping family life running smoothly is no small feat. Between work deadlines, school lunches, sports practice, and the mental juggling act of remembering everything, working parents are doing it all — often at the expense of their own wellbeing. But as the saying goes during airline safety checks: put your own oxygen mask on first.

Dr Rosina McAlpine from Win Win Parenting has a simple but powerful reminder for all mums and dads: you can’t take care of others if you don’t first take care of yourself.

Why Self-Care Matters — and Why It’s Not Selfish

According to the latest research, working parents are facing:

• The highest levels of stress

• The lowest mental health scores

• And the greatest risk of burnout

These challenges aren’t just personal — they’re impacting productivity and wellbeing at home and at work. That’s why Dr Rosina’s mantra resonates so deeply:

“Throw selfish in the rubbish.”

When parents prioritise their mental and physical wellbeing, they:

• Regulate emotions better

• Handle challenges more calmly

• Role model healthy habits for their children

• And show up more engaged at work

  
  

Busting the Myths of “Balance”

One of the biggest traps parents fall into is believing they must split time evenly between work and family every day. But “balance” doesn’t mean 50/50. Dr Rosina suggests thinking about navigation or integration instead — because some days will be work-heavy, others more focused on family.

Another myth worth ditching? That you can’t be a great parent and do well at work. You can — especially when you take small, intentional steps to look after yourself and ask for support where needed.

Managing the Mental Load: Make the Invisible Visible

Much of the stress working parents experience — especially mums — is tied to the mental load. The constant “thinking ahead” and managing of invisible tasks can be overwhelming.

Dr Rosina’s advice? Write it all down. Get the never-ending to-do list out of your head and onto paper. Then:

1. Pick the top three tasks for the day.

2. Tick them off (hello, satisfaction!).

3. Delegate what you can — and yes, let your partner choose some from the list too. This practice builds clarity, reduces overwhelm, and makes space for shared responsibility.

   
   

Micro Self-Care: Small Actions with Big Impact

Don’t have an hour for yoga? No problem. Dr Rosina recommends micro self-care practices — small, simple, and free:

• Take a few deep breaths between meetings

• Go for a short walk or run

• Listen to a favourite song in the car before heading inside

• Watch a funny video

• Take a five-minute shower to reset after a tough day

• Cuddle your dog (yes, that counts!)

These little resets throughout the day help release built-up tension, improve your mood, and support emotional regulation.

Transition Rituals: From Work Mode to Home Mode

One powerful idea is the “driveway pause” — taking a few minutes in the car after work to breathe, decompress, and shift gears before walking through the front door. This mini-transition helps you arrive home calmer, more present, and ready to connect with your family — rather than carrying the stress of the day with you.

Why Workplaces Need to Step Up

Self-care isn’t just a personal issue — it’s a workplace one, too. If organisations want healthy, engaged, and productive teams, they must support the wellbeing of working parents. After all, these parents are not only contributing to the workforce — they’re raising the next generation.

Supporting working parents isn’t just about corporate social responsibility — it’s a smart business strategy. Happy, healthy parents = stronger families and more resilient workplaces.

Final Thought: Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury. It’s not selfish. It’s the most generous thing you can do for your family — and your team. So whether it’s three deep breaths, a long shower, or a handwritten to-do list, start small. Because when you’re well, everyone benefits.