The news is filled with stories on bullying in schools, bullying in the workplace and with the increased use of technology, cyberbullying can be a constant, never-ending and relentless attack on your child. While some acts are clearly bullying – like a child regularly, wilfully, and intentionally physically hurting another child - other acts are not as easy to recognise as bullying. Do you know the difference between bullying and kids just having some harmless fun together? As a loving parent it’s important for to know the distinction so you can help your child navigate life’s challenges. Children need to be able to protect themselves from bullies and also be able to manage light-hearted play without it causing them to feel overwhelmed by hurt or stress. It’s also really important to make sure your own children are treating each other with care and respect and one child isn’t being allowed to bully their sibling. Every parent wants to raise happy, healthy and well-balanced kids. BUT, it’s not always easy to know the “right” thing to do. There is so much conflicting parenting advice today, leaving parents confused, especially when it comes to bullying. What is the right approach? SHOULD I LET THE KIDS SORT IT OUT THEMSELVES? But what if that ends in someone getting seriously hurt. SHOULD I INTERVENE AND HELP MY CHILDREN LEARN THE RIGHT WAY TO BE? But what if this makes it worse for my child and they don’t get the chance to learn how to handle life’s challenges. SHOULD I STEP BACK AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS AND IF IT’S NOT GOING THE RIGHT WAY – INTERVENE THEN? But what if I’m too late! What if I don’t do anything and something really bad happens – I’d never forgive myself.

Are you a "softie" when it comes to raising your children or are you "tougher" on your kids? While every parent or carer wants the best for their children, parents and carers may not always agree on the "best" way or the "right" way to parent. Some parents prefer to take a firmer or disciplinarian approach to raising their children, others may prefer a gentler collaborative parenting approach. These differences can result in conflict between parents and confuse children. If you’d like to know how to manage different approaches to parenting with your parenting partner then this interview on ABC Brisbane "Afternoons with Katherine Feeney" is for you. Parenting expert, Dr Rosina McAlpine, creator of the Win Win Parenting program shares: A range of different approaches to parenting and their impact on children. The challenges parent’s face when they're not on the same page. How to overcome conflict when there are different approaches to raising children. It's just 15 mins! Enjoy!

Parents often feel guilty about their parenting. Perhaps you feel that too? Mums and dads often feel guilty about working long hours and not spending enough time with the kids, being short tempered and yelling a lot or feeling helpless when your children are having a hard time with friends or school. BUT, feeling guilty and stressed about parenting actually undermines your parenting. When you feel guilty and stressed you feel bad so you’re unlikely to come up with a great idea to resolve the issue and you’ll behave out of guilt or anger instead of love. So when you think about it like that you can see that feeling guilty is NOT what good parenting is about. What can you do? Research studies have shown that it is not about the quantity of time but the quality of time parents spend with their children that has the best outcomes. Instead of feeling guilty, can you: make time to read with your young child which will support your child’s language development and inspire a love of learning. go for a walk with your teenager, check in and ask how things are going. Then listen, listen, listen without offering advice, so you’re adolescent knows you’re interested and you’re there if they need support. make a favourite meal and have one or more relaxed dinners together as a family with everyone having a turn to share their highlights of the day. find a little time in the evening, like just before bed, that you can have some quiet time together with your child and tell them how much you love them. It’s these short quality interactions with your child that makes for good parenting.

Human babies are among the most vulnerable living beings. Left alone, they die in a matter of hours or days at most. Babies depend on their carers for their physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing and how they experience their early years can have a significant impact on how they live their whole life. When our son Cameron was born, I felt vulnerable and overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising another human being. What did I know about his nurturing his physical, psychological and emotional development? As a parent, thinking about how I might ‘wreck’ him was really scary. For the last five years I have been reading the latest research in child development and parenting, and it has helped me to feel more confident as a parent. My research has revealed that there are a number of fundamental basics that help parents grow their vulnerable babies into capable, caring and inspired adults. While I’m certainly not claiming to have all of the answers, and even if I did, I could hardly fit them all in one blog post, nevertheless I’d like to share some of the key things I’ve learned about raising happy, healthy and well-adjusted children. START PREPARING BEFORE CONCEPTION The new science of epigenetics shows that your lifestyle choices prior to conceiving your child affect your child’s development. Your physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing can either have a positive or negative effect on your unborn child. A healthy lifestyle gives your baby the best start in life through the parent’s sperm and egg. PREGNANCY Mothers to be who enjoy a balanced whole food diet, engage in regular exercise and, for the most part are rested and calm during their pregnancy, create the best environment for their baby to form a healthy physical body including their brain development. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Once your baby arrives, give her love, love and more love! Of course, this is a no brainer but as it is so important, it bears mention. Cuddle, kiss, hold, interact with, respond to and love your baby. The more that babies are held, talked to and experience a safe world the more secure they feel and the more they learn and develop. BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND INSPIRED Parents are a child’s most influential role model. If you lead a happy, healthy and inspired life, you help your child to learn how to do just that. A happy and healthy parent is more likely to have the time, patience and care to raise an inspired child. A tired, depressed and unhealthy parent is neither a good role model for their child or will have what it take to support their development. FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD The bond between people is determined by the depth of love, care, respect and admiration they have for each other. Supporting the relationship between a parent and a child must be at the heart of all parenting decisions. Parents can ask themselves ‘how will my actions impact my child and our relationship?’ For example: yelling at my child and calling him names is likely to have a negative impact on our relationship. On the other hand, care, consideration and respectful communication will grow our love and bond with each other. LIFE SKILL APPROACH TO PARENTING We want our children to be enabled in life. Taking a life skill approach to parenting means that parents can nurture their child’s development across many key areas including: the development of healthy self-esteem, resilience, financial literacy, ability to relate to others, a good understanding of nutrition and the importance of exercise, how to manage emotions and behaviours and the ability to set and achieve their goals… just to name a few. If parents take just 10-15 minutes a day to help their children develop life skills they will be giving their children a strong foundation for life success. Remember, if you empower your children by teaching them how to think, how to create supportive working and family relationships and how to manage their emotions and behaviours rather than ‘telling’ them what to think and how to act and who to be, then you can feel confident that your children will be able to navigate life successfully even when you are not there to protect and to guide them.

Chris Hook 7 News View the full article here Extract from article Parenting experts have welcomed a push to convince parents to stop using police as a threat to get their children to behave, warning the negative image of scary cops could last for years and stop teenagers seeking help when needed. However they concede most parents are eventually tempted to invoke police or other “bogeymen” when confronted with prolonged naughtiness. On Wednesday, local area command Facebook pages across NSW shared a poster imploring parents to not “make your children scared of the police”.It asks that parents don’t tell their youngsters that police will “arrest them if they are naughty” because they want children to feel they can depend upon them if they are “scared, lost and in danger”. “‘Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you.’” — DR ROSINA MCLPINE “I think it’s a great thing, I really love it, it has an underlying message that will get parents to think about what their own approaches are and I think everyone would have used some form of this, whether it’s the police or the bogeyman,” NSW Parents' Coun cil president and child psychologist Dr Rose Cantali told 7NEWS.com.au. “‘Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you.’” — DR ROSINA MCALPINE Parenting expert and author Dr Rosina McAlpline said it is important to stress to young children that police are there to keep us safe. She said using police as a threat can plant a negative idea that lasts into their teen years and young adulthood. McAlpine said it could stop youngsters seeking help in an emergency. “Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you,” she told 7NEWS.com.au “You absolutely don’t want to do that and it might happen for life." Cantali echoed the point. “It shows the police to be some kind of bad person who will put them in jail and that then leads to a long term thing and that’s a real concern,” she said.

Parents play a crucial role in helping their children develop and maintain good self-esteem. While there are many ways to support healthy self-esteem, one very important way is to simply spend one-on-one time with your child. This tells your child that they are important to you and valued. This in turn helps them to value themselves. If a parent is too busy to spend time with their children this tells the children that other things are more important and can result in them not feeling loved or valued. So take time each day to be with your children to show them how important they are. You can introduce the activity by saying something along the lines of “I’d like to spend some time with you to talk about how you are going and if hear about what you have been up to.” You can also share how you feel about your child as well words like. “you are really important to me, you make me very happy and I love you” go a long way to helping a child feel loved and valued. How do you feel when your child or spouse says “you are really important to me and I love you”? Fantastic … right? Find the words that feel right for you…right from the heart!

We all know what it can be like when our child has an emotional meltdown – and it can happen over the littlest thing – like the toast being cut the wrong way! What about the supermarket meltdown when you say “no” to the junk food or latest toy! OR when you ask the kids to come off the technology! Are you continually fighting with your children about technology? Do you hear yourself saying “for goodness sake please turn the TV off”? “Enough is enough! How many times do I have to ask you to stop playing that game you’ve been on it for hours?” “Put that phone down and come and have some dinner!” And does this usually end up in a family fight? This is a common issue parents ask me about. The constant arguments over screen time are so frustrating and cause disharmony in the home. The research is clear – excessive screen time is harmful for children – but tell that to a child who is enjoying a game and you take iPad away or you ask your teen to end the game they’re playing online with their friends! What if there was a way to prevent melt-downs, flare-ups, and screen-time skirmishes. What if parents really understood the harms and benefits of technology and could explain clearly it to their children? In this video, Dr Rosina McAlpine explains the many harms of excessive and inappropriate technology use by children. Technology is not going away and so parents need to be able to make informed decisions about TV, phones, games, tablets and computers. As a parent, by understanding the harms, you can feel confident in your decisions and explain why you’re limiting technology to your children, rather than a general statement like “it’s not good for you so you need to stop” or “because I said so”. By being able to show your child the negative effects of technology on their body and their mind, they’ll know you just want to protect them from harm. By explaining to your children how technology can be used in a positive way – it’s a win win!

Importance of the Relaxation and Play life skills for kids Do you and your children regularly take time out to relax and play together? This is very important in today’s society as most parents are rushing, overworked and lack a good work-life balance. This is also true for our children who are busy with school, homework, sporting activities, after-school tutoring and social networking and the list goes on. Being able to relax and to play reduces anxiety, illness and increases the joy in life. These activities are focused on helping your child understand the importance of both relaxation and play. Both will help your child achieve a greater sense of wellbeing and life-balance. Your child will learn how to identify when they are overworked, or tired and need to rest. Relaxation techniques are provided. You can make this a weekly activity for both you and your child, and in this way you will both benefit and you will be modelling a good work-life balance. Developing good work-life balance should begin as young as possible. Maggie Dent’s Chapter “Helping Children Manage Stress”, in the book Inspired Children: how the leading minds of today raise their kids, explains that many adults can’t manage their stress because they didn’t learn how to deal with stress and distress as children. So it’s very important to learn this skill as a child. Helping children to develop the ability to relax and play will help them to first, identify when they are overworked, tired or simply need to rest and then second to actually take time out relax and play. Benefits of the Relaxation and Play life skills for kids Research shows that most diseases stem from stress. So one of the many benefits of teaching children how to relax and play is that it will support them to live a healthy life. Another benefit of the Relaxation and Play life skill activities is that they can reduce anxiety. A recent study reviewed 10 years of research on the impact of relaxation training on anxiety and concluded that anxiety could be reduced through a variety of relaxation techniques. There are a variety of relaxation activities you could teach your child in this Home Activity Work Book. Finally, by completing the activities children will experience first-hand the many benefits of relaxation and play and develop their understanding of how important taking time out and having fun are to enjoy a positive and happy life. Relaxation and play life skills for children This Relaxation and Play e-book for parents allows empowers them to develop good parenting skills and at the same time inspire children and develop their kids life skills - these 12 easy to follow activities can be undertaken in 15 minutes at a time. Even in this busy life every parent can find 15 minutes one or twice a week to read parenting tips to be able to support and inspire their child for life. Relaxation and play is very important in today’s society as most parents are rushing, overworked and lack work/life balance. This is true for our children as well who are busy with school, homework, sporting activities, after school, tutoring or care, social networking and the list goes on. Completing the 12 activities in this e-book will help your child understand the importance of taking time out to relax and play. How to develop the Relaxation and Play life skills for kids Here are some tips to help your child relax and play: Give your child a shoulder massage and then receive a massage from your child. Touch is such a great way to relax and to bond. A loving touch can say so much. Plan a day to have a relaxing picnic in the park. Bring some healthy food, fun games and enjoy the sunshine! Put on some quiet music and lie on the floor with your child. Close your eyes and allow the music to help you both unwind. Have a game of cards or play a board game as a family. Invite your child’s friends over to play. Take some time out to stretch with your child. Stretching muscles is good for releasing tension and inducing relaxation. Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting

Importance of the Personal Power life skill for children High self esteem and self confidence allow children to feel good about who they are and believe in themselves. These children are more likely to try new things and pick themselves up and bounce back after a difficult experience. These are very valuable personal attributes and life skills for your child. Benefits of the Personal Power life skill for children The benefits of teaching children the personal power life skills for kids are that kids who accept themselves are less likely to succumb to peer pressure or have the need to be like others and are more likely to discover what they can contribute. Children who don’t feel good about themselves are more likely to succumb to peer pressure, be bullied, behave defensively and be insecure which often results in all kinds of negative behaviour, especially in difficult circumstances. Our son is only four, and so it’s very important for me to help him feel good about himself and to help him develop his personal power so he can continue to explore the world, learn from his experiences and grow. Exploration and being open to new experiences is likely to be easier for a child who has a good sense of themselves and feels safe and secure. Children who do not feel sure of themselves or feel unsafe are more likely to shy away from new experiences. Personal Power - teaching children life skills Personal power is about self esteem and resilience and relates to how children ‘feel’ about themselves and what they ‘believe’ about themselves. The Inspired Children Personal Power e-book offers advice and support for parents by developing your parenting skills a little at a time. The e-book contains 12 activitities that offer practical, easy to follow 15 minute activities and parenting tips which will help parents to inspire children and support your kids life skills development. Here’s a taste of what you and your child can learn about self esteem and personal power: Helping Parents develop the Personal Power life skill in their children There are many ways to support self esteem for kids. Advice for parents and helpful parenting tips include: Spending time and interacting in a caring way with your child tells them that you believe they are important and loved. They can then internalise your beliefs and behaviours. That is, if you believe they are important and lovable they must be important and lovable - because parents are always right. Right? The opposite also holds true. Children can interpret an absent parent as meaning that they are not a priority or an important part of their parent’s life and this can be internalised and can lead to poor self esteem. Understanding and explaining the difference between self esteem and self confidence to your child is important for supporting self esteem. Self confidence is about doing. The more a child practices something the more confident they can become at a task. It is beneficial to help your child see that self esteem is NOT about doing but about ‘being’. Every person is a unique and valuable being in their own right. They deserve respect and love regardless of what they have done in their life or what they look like. Helping a child to see they are loved and valuable just because they are and for no other reason is a huge support for their self esteem. Tying a child’s self worth to what they do in life can harm their self esteem. Children can come to believe that they are only valuable or deserve love if they achieve something. Children look to their parents to learn about how to act in the world. A parent who has good self esteem provides a wonderful role model for their child to follow. By the same token a parent who regularly puts themselves or their child down with language like “you’re so hurtful/stupid/bad/naughty” etc can harm their child’s self esteem. Furthermore the child may believe these words for life. With my son I focus on talking about his bad behaviour rather than calling him names. For example I might say “it hurts when you bite or hit someone else. It’s not OK to bite or hit. You need to use your words if you are upset with your friends. NO biting.” In this way he knows his behaviour is hurtful but I have not told him HE is a hurtful or bad child. This is an important difference. Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting

Importance of the Inspired Creativity life skills for kids If a child is experiencing a difficulty in their life, having the skills to clearly identify and articulate the difficulty, feel empowered to set goals and the take actions to overcome the difficulty allows the child to turn a negative situation into a positive one. This is very empowering and encourages children to be resourceful, develop their imaginative skills, discover what inspires them and achieve their goals. Creating opportunities for children to nurture their creativity is beneficial for both work and play. Benefits of the Inspired Creativity life skills for kids The benefits of the Inspired Creativity life skills for kids includes being able to set goals and achieve them which provides a strong foundation for life success. It supports children to do well at school which can springboard them to a successful career and serve them well in their personal lives too. In today’s fast changing environment being creative and thinking outside the box is a highly sought after and valuable skill! Key areas to consider are: goal setting for kids planning for children time management for children using a diary for kids using a calendar for kids motivating kids recognising, counting and rewarding achievement for kids Inspired Creativity life skills for children This Inspired Creativity e-book helps parents develop good parenting skills by offering parenting advice and support for parents with activities in teaching children to develop life skills around Inspired Creativity. These 12 easy to follow, practical 15 minute activities are all about inspiring children, good parenting advice and kids life skills development. This e-book will assist you and your child learn about essential life skills for your child such as the ability to identify goals and to know how to achieve them effectively and creatively. These fundamental life skills support children to achieve success in their lives. How to develop the Inspired Creativity life skills for kids Parenting advice and helpful parenting tips to help your child develop life skills in the area of inspired creativity include: Help your child develop their skills setting goals they would like to achieve. Help them define the outcome clearly so that they will know when they have achieved the goal. Encourage them to select a goal that will take a number of steps and some time to achieve. Turn the goal into a series of action steps that can be taken to achieve the goal and estimate the time each step will take. Then diarise times to work on the steps. Then it is time to act on all scheduled tasks and take action. Help your child complete the tasks that will help them achieve their goal and monitoring progress to see if more time is needed and to ensure the goal is achieved. Recognise and celebrate that each step completed is a step closer to the end goal. Encourage your child to use their creativity and inspiration at every step in the process. Work on activities that help your child look for solutions that are ‘out of the box’. This is how new inventions and fortunes are made! Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting

Good health is a great foundation upon which to build a great life. The press is filled with scary news about how our children are obese and unhealthy. So as a parent what can you do to help your kids learn about how to be healthy? One important part of child development is instilling knowledge and good habits around eating and exercise. What kids learn about health when they are young will help them throughout their whole life. Eating well is a key part of good health. If you think back to what you regularly ate as a child you’ll probably find that’s pretty much what you’re eating today. At a presentation I gave on teaching kids health one mother said “my husband still takes peanut butter and honey sandwiches to work every day…he was a fussy eater and that’s what he ate as a child”. If what your child eats as a child plays a big part in what he or she will eat as an adult, it is so important to take a good look at what you’re mainly feeding your children right now. Are they basically eating a balanced diet with items from each of the five food groups or do they mainly eat processed, fatty and sugary foods? Do you talk to your children about nutrition explaining what’s good for the body like fresh fruits and vegetables and what’s not so good like sweets, processed biscuits and cakes? This can be a great support! To be healthy kids also need to exercise. Being fit improves both their physical as well as their mental health and of course, it’s FUN too! Parents can encourage their children to be active by helping them understand the benefits of fitness but most importantly parents need to create the opportunities for their kids to exercise. Team sports are a great way to do this. I recently read a great blog written by Agata Mrva-Montoya, at Sydney publishing that “the development of local sports clubs and junior teams is vital to the future of team sport, and it is beneficial to the wellbeing of young players, far beyond the obvious issues of health and fitness. Long-term participation in sport and club membership enables children to learn the ideas of fair play and teamwork. They also develop self-motivation and a sense of belonging to a community. At the same time, they can have fun and meet new friends, which according to Richard Light, the author of Sport in the lives of young Australians, are the most important reasons for joining a sporting club and ongoing participation”. So what can you do to support positive behavior development around health and well being for your kids? Eat a ‘mainly’ healthy diet at home (but sweets and treats are great sometimes), share nutrition tips when he opportunities arise, encourage outdoor exercise activities and maybe even get your kids involved in a team sport…the many benefits make it worth the time! Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting

Benefits of the Communication and Relationships social skills for children The benefits of the Communication and Relationships social skills e-book are that effective communication and social skills enable children to develop strong relationships with family, colleagues and friends and work in a productive, harmonious and enjoyable way. Learning how to cooperate and work in a group as well as understanding when to lead and when to follow are valuable skills. Other social skills for children to learn include understanding how to avoid unnecessary conflict and how to be a good communicator. Building relationships is essential for creating a happy and productive life. This e-book contains 12 easy to follow activities that can be done in 15 minutes that you can undertake with your child to develop these social skills. Importance of developing these social skills for children People are social beings, so being able to communicate with others is a valuable skill for building personal and professional relationships. It is so heartbreaking for a parent to hear the words “I’ve got no friends, nobody wants to play with me”. Teaching children social skills allows them to know what it means to be a good friend and to develop communication skills which will help them make and keep the right kind of friends. These social skills for children are extremely valuable life skills for your child. Understanding the complexity of social relationships requires more than just trial and error and a simple understanding of the use of ‘manners’ and ‘protocol’. Your child's social development and communication skills need to be developed over time, and can become more complex as is age appropriate, through a comprehensive program of instruction, interaction, experience, reflection and practice. How to develop the Communication and Relationships social skills for children The Communication and Relationships e-book provides parenting advice and helpful tips you can try to support your child’s social development around communication and relationship building include: Help your child understand that communication is about an exchange and so there are times when they can speak and time when they need to listen. Relationships are complex and often people don’t actually say what they mean and their words don’t match their true feelings or thoughts. It’s helpful to explain the complex nature of relationships and to invite your child to practice using more than their ears when they communicate with others. For example, invite them to observe a person’s body language and to learn to trust their instinct when they feel a person is not being truthful with them. Can your children make friends easily? Do your children have the ‘right kind’ of friends or do they have friends that pressure them into doing things they know they shouldn’t. Help them identify the qualities they are looking for in a friend so they are more likely to attract and nurture supportive friendships. Feeling anger is a normal and natural part of life. Things can go wrong and people can get angry! However, some people take their anger out on others and this can destroy relationships. You can help your children manage and express their anger in a way that does not hurt others. For example, you can model or encourage your children to walk away from a situation when they feel angry and take time out to look at the situation calmly. Once they have some perspective they can discuss what has upset them with more clarity and less emotion. Our son is only 4, but like many young children when he gets angry he can hit out. When I see this I begin by acknowledging his anger rather than ignoring or reprimanding him. I might say in quite a firm voice “You are angry, angry, angry.” And then I pause to allow him to see I acknowledge how he feels. Then I might say “use your words, tell mummy why you are angry but don’t hit. Use your words mummy is listening, just use your words!” Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting