Stopping Violence Before It Starts – How Everyday Parenting Shapes Respectful Relationships

Parenting Expert Dr Rosina McAlpine Interviewed on ABC Radio

Domestic and family violence continues to be one of the most serious issues facing Australian communities, with alarming new figures showing an increase in reported assaults. While intervention and support services are vital, the most powerful change begins much earlier — in childhood. Parenting, work and family wellbeing expert Dr Rosina McAlpine believes that prevention starts in the home. “The values, attitudes, and beliefs we teach our children in their early years about respect, empathy, and equality form the foundation for who they become,” she explains. “When we consistently model kindness and compassion, we set our children up to build healthy, respectful relationships for life.”

As part of the Australian Government’s Stop It at the Start campaign, Dr Rosina has shared her insights on how simple, everyday conversations can prevent the cycle of violence before it begins. She encourages parents and carers to reflect on the subtle messages they may unintentionally send — such as dismissing behaviour with phrases like “boys will be boys” or “he did it because he likes you.” These seemingly harmless comments can normalise disrespect and confusion around relationships. By becoming aware of these patterns, parents can pause, repair, and use these moments to teach empathy and accountability instead.

Dr Rosina also reminds us that the responsibility for change extends beyond the home. Schools, sporting clubs, and workplaces play an essential role in reinforcing respectful behaviour and challenging harmful attitudes. Many forward-thinking organisations are already integrating anti-bullying and respectful relationship programs — providing adults with the same skills they can use at home. “When parents, teachers, and community leaders all share the same message of respect and equality,” says Dr Rosina, “children grow up hearing one powerful and consistent voice against violence.”

Ultimately, prevention starts with awareness, open conversation, and positive role modelling. Dr Rosina’s heartfelt message is clear: “We can’t expect respect to grow by chance — it starts with us, in the way we live, love, and talk every day.” To hear more of Dr Rosina McAlpine’s practical advice on how families and communities can stop violence before it starts, listen to her full ABC interview podcast.