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- Communication Skills and Relationships social skills for children
Benefits of the Communication and Relationships social skills for children The benefits of the Communication and Relationships social skills e-book are that effective communication and social skills enable children to develop strong relationships with family, colleagues and friends and work in a productive, harmonious and enjoyable way. Learning how to cooperate and work in a group as well as understanding when to lead and when to follow are valuable skills. Other social skills for children to learn include understanding how to avoid unnecessary conflict and how to be a good communicator. Building relationships is essential for creating a happy and productive life. This e-book contains 12 easy to follow activities that can be done in 15 minutes that you can undertake with your child to develop these social skills. Importance of developing these social skills for children People are social beings, so being able to communicate with others is a valuable skill for building personal and professional relationships. It is so heartbreaking for a parent to hear the words “I’ve got no friends, nobody wants to play with me”. Teaching children social skills allows them to know what it means to be a good friend and to develop communication skills which will help them make and keep the right kind of friends. These social skills for children are extremely valuable life skills for your child. Understanding the complexity of social relationships requires more than just trial and error and a simple understanding of the use of ‘manners’ and ‘protocol’. Your child's social development and communication skills need to be developed over time, and can become more complex as is age appropriate, through a comprehensive program of instruction, interaction, experience, reflection and practice. How to develop the Communication and Relationships social skills for children The Communication and Relationships e-book provides parenting advice and helpful tips you can try to support your child’s social development around communication and relationship building include: Help your child understand that communication is about an exchange and so there are times when they can speak and time when they need to listen. Relationships are complex and often people don’t actually say what they mean and their words don’t match their true feelings or thoughts. It’s helpful to explain the complex nature of relationships and to invite your child to practice using more than their ears when they communicate with others. For example, invite them to observe a person’s body language and to learn to trust their instinct when they feel a person is not being truthful with them. Can your children make friends easily? Do your children have the ‘right kind’ of friends or do they have friends that pressure them into doing things they know they shouldn’t. Help them identify the qualities they are looking for in a friend so they are more likely to attract and nurture supportive friendships. Feeling anger is a normal and natural part of life. Things can go wrong and people can get angry! However, some people take their anger out on others and this can destroy relationships. You can help your children manage and express their anger in a way that does not hurt others. For example, you can model or encourage your children to walk away from a situation when they feel angry and take time out to look at the situation calmly. Once they have some perspective they can discuss what has upset them with more clarity and less emotion. Our son is only 4, but like many young children when he gets angry he can hit out. When I see this I begin by acknowledging his anger rather than ignoring or reprimanding him. I might say in quite a firm voice “You are angry, angry, angry.” And then I pause to allow him to see I acknowledge how he feels. Then I might say “use your words, tell mummy why you are angry but don’t hit. Use your words mummy is listening, just use your words!” Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting
- Helping Kids Learn How to Be Healthy
Good health is a great foundation upon which to build a great life. The press is filled with scary news about how our children are obese and unhealthy. So as a parent what can you do to help your kids learn about how to be healthy? One important part of child development is instilling knowledge and good habits around eating and exercise. What kids learn about health when they are young will help them throughout their whole life. Eating well is a key part of good health. If you think back to what you regularly ate as a child you’ll probably find that’s pretty much what you’re eating today. At a presentation I gave on teaching kids health one mother said “my husband still takes peanut butter and honey sandwiches to work every day…he was a fussy eater and that’s what he ate as a child”. If what your child eats as a child plays a big part in what he or she will eat as an adult, it is so important to take a good look at what you’re mainly feeding your children right now. Are they basically eating a balanced diet with items from each of the five food groups or do they mainly eat processed, fatty and sugary foods? Do you talk to your children about nutrition explaining what’s good for the body like fresh fruits and vegetables and what’s not so good like sweets, processed biscuits and cakes? This can be a great support! To be healthy kids also need to exercise. Being fit improves both their physical as well as their mental health and of course, it’s FUN too! Parents can encourage their children to be active by helping them understand the benefits of fitness but most importantly parents need to create the opportunities for their kids to exercise. Team sports are a great way to do this. I recently read a great blog written by Agata Mrva-Montoya, at Sydney publishing that “the development of local sports clubs and junior teams is vital to the future of team sport, and it is beneficial to the wellbeing of young players, far beyond the obvious issues of health and fitness. Long-term participation in sport and club membership enables children to learn the ideas of fair play and teamwork. They also develop self-motivation and a sense of belonging to a community. At the same time, they can have fun and meet new friends, which according to Richard Light, the author of Sport in the lives of young Australians, are the most important reasons for joining a sporting club and ongoing participation”. So what can you do to support positive behavior development around health and well being for your kids? Eat a ‘mainly’ healthy diet at home (but sweets and treats are great sometimes), share nutrition tips when he opportunities arise, encourage outdoor exercise activities and maybe even get your kids involved in a team sport…the many benefits make it worth the time! Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting
- Inspired Creativity life skills for children
Importance of the Inspired Creativity life skills for kids If a child is experiencing a difficulty in their life, having the skills to clearly identify and articulate the difficulty, feel empowered to set goals and the take actions to overcome the difficulty allows the child to turn a negative situation into a positive one. This is very empowering and encourages children to be resourceful, develop their imaginative skills, discover what inspires them and achieve their goals. Creating opportunities for children to nurture their creativity is beneficial for both work and play. Benefits of the Inspired Creativity life skills for kids The benefits of the Inspired Creativity life skills for kids includes being able to set goals and achieve them which provides a strong foundation for life success. It supports children to do well at school which can springboard them to a successful career and serve them well in their personal lives too. In today’s fast changing environment being creative and thinking outside the box is a highly sought after and valuable skill! Key areas to consider are: goal setting for kids planning for children time management for children using a diary for kids using a calendar for kids motivating kids recognising, counting and rewarding achievement for kids Inspired Creativity life skills for children This Inspired Creativity e-book helps parents develop good parenting skills by offering parenting advice and support for parents with activities in teaching children to develop life skills around Inspired Creativity. These 12 easy to follow, practical 15 minute activities are all about inspiring children, good parenting advice and kids life skills development. This e-book will assist you and your child learn about essential life skills for your child such as the ability to identify goals and to know how to achieve them effectively and creatively. These fundamental life skills support children to achieve success in their lives. How to develop the Inspired Creativity life skills for kids Parenting advice and helpful parenting tips to help your child develop life skills in the area of inspired creativity include: Help your child develop their skills setting goals they would like to achieve. Help them define the outcome clearly so that they will know when they have achieved the goal. Encourage them to select a goal that will take a number of steps and some time to achieve. Turn the goal into a series of action steps that can be taken to achieve the goal and estimate the time each step will take. Then diarise times to work on the steps. Then it is time to act on all scheduled tasks and take action. Help your child complete the tasks that will help them achieve their goal and monitoring progress to see if more time is needed and to ensure the goal is achieved. Recognise and celebrate that each step completed is a step closer to the end goal. Encourage your child to use their creativity and inspiration at every step in the process. Work on activities that help your child look for solutions that are ‘out of the box’. This is how new inventions and fortunes are made! Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting
- Personal Power - advice for parents
Importance of the Personal Power life skill for children High self esteem and self confidence allow children to feel good about who they are and believe in themselves. These children are more likely to try new things and pick themselves up and bounce back after a difficult experience. These are very valuable personal attributes and life skills for your child. Benefits of the Personal Power life skill for children The benefits of teaching children the personal power life skills for kids are that kids who accept themselves are less likely to succumb to peer pressure or have the need to be like others and are more likely to discover what they can contribute. Children who don’t feel good about themselves are more likely to succumb to peer pressure, be bullied, behave defensively and be insecure which often results in all kinds of negative behaviour, especially in difficult circumstances. Our son is only four, and so it’s very important for me to help him feel good about himself and to help him develop his personal power so he can continue to explore the world, learn from his experiences and grow. Exploration and being open to new experiences is likely to be easier for a child who has a good sense of themselves and feels safe and secure. Children who do not feel sure of themselves or feel unsafe are more likely to shy away from new experiences. Personal Power - teaching children life skills Personal power is about self esteem and resilience and relates to how children ‘feel’ about themselves and what they ‘believe’ about themselves. The Inspired Children Personal Power e-book offers advice and support for parents by developing your parenting skills a little at a time. The e-book contains 12 activitities that offer practical, easy to follow 15 minute activities and parenting tips which will help parents to inspire children and support your kids life skills development. Here’s a taste of what you and your child can learn about self esteem and personal power: Helping Parents develop the Personal Power life skill in their children There are many ways to support self esteem for kids. Advice for parents and helpful parenting tips include: Spending time and interacting in a caring way with your child tells them that you believe they are important and loved. They can then internalise your beliefs and behaviours. That is, if you believe they are important and lovable they must be important and lovable - because parents are always right. Right? The opposite also holds true. Children can interpret an absent parent as meaning that they are not a priority or an important part of their parent’s life and this can be internalised and can lead to poor self esteem. Understanding and explaining the difference between self esteem and self confidence to your child is important for supporting self esteem. Self confidence is about doing. The more a child practices something the more confident they can become at a task. It is beneficial to help your child see that self esteem is NOT about doing but about ‘being’. Every person is a unique and valuable being in their own right. They deserve respect and love regardless of what they have done in their life or what they look like. Helping a child to see they are loved and valuable just because they are and for no other reason is a huge support for their self esteem. Tying a child’s self worth to what they do in life can harm their self esteem. Children can come to believe that they are only valuable or deserve love if they achieve something. Children look to their parents to learn about how to act in the world. A parent who has good self esteem provides a wonderful role model for their child to follow. By the same token a parent who regularly puts themselves or their child down with language like “you’re so hurtful/stupid/bad/naughty” etc can harm their child’s self esteem. Furthermore the child may believe these words for life. With my son I focus on talking about his bad behaviour rather than calling him names. For example I might say “it hurts when you bite or hit someone else. It’s not OK to bite or hit. You need to use your words if you are upset with your friends. NO biting.” In this way he knows his behaviour is hurtful but I have not told him HE is a hurtful or bad child. This is an important difference. Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting
- Relaxation and Play life skills for children
Importance of the Relaxation and Play life skills for kids Do you and your children regularly take time out to relax and play together? This is very important in today’s society as most parents are rushing, overworked and lack a good work-life balance. This is also true for our children who are busy with school, homework, sporting activities, after-school tutoring and social networking and the list goes on. Being able to relax and to play reduces anxiety, illness and increases the joy in life. These activities are focused on helping your child understand the importance of both relaxation and play. Both will help your child achieve a greater sense of wellbeing and life-balance. Your child will learn how to identify when they are overworked, or tired and need to rest. Relaxation techniques are provided. You can make this a weekly activity for both you and your child, and in this way you will both benefit and you will be modelling a good work-life balance. Developing good work-life balance should begin as young as possible. Maggie Dent’s Chapter “Helping Children Manage Stress”, in the book Inspired Children : how the leading minds of today raise their kids, explains that many adults can’t manage their stress because they didn’t learn how to deal with stress and distress as children. So it’s very important to learn this skill as a child. Helping children to develop the ability to relax and play will help them to first, identify when they are overworked, tired or simply need to rest and then second to actually take time out relax and play. Benefits of the Relaxation and Play life skills for kids Research shows that most diseases stem from stress. So one of the many benefits of teaching children how to relax and play is that it will support them to live a healthy life. Another benefit of the Relaxation and Play life skill activities is that they can reduce anxiety. A recent study reviewed 10 years of research on the impact of relaxation training on anxiety and concluded that anxiety could be reduced through a variety of relaxation techniques. There are a variety of relaxation activities you could teach your child in this Home Activity Work Book. Finally, by completing the activities children will experience first-hand the many benefits of relaxation and play and develop their understanding of how important taking time out and having fun are to enjoy a positive and happy life. Relaxation and play life skills for children This Relaxation and Play e-book for parents allows empowers them to develop good parenting skills and at the same time inspire children and develop their kids life skills - these 12 easy to follow activities can be undertaken in 15 minutes at a time. Even in this busy life every parent can find 15 minutes one or twice a week to read parenting tips to be able to support and inspire their child for life. Relaxation and play is very important in today’s society as most parents are rushing, overworked and lack work/life balance. This is true for our children as well who are busy with school, homework, sporting activities, after school, tutoring or care, social networking and the list goes on. Completing the 12 activities in this e-book will help your child understand the importance of taking time out to relax and play. How to develop the Relaxation and Play life skills for kids Here are some tips to help your child relax and play: Give your child a shoulder massage and then receive a massage from your child. Touch is such a great way to relax and to bond. A loving touch can say so much. Plan a day to have a relaxing picnic in the park. Bring some healthy food, fun games and enjoy the sunshine! Put on some quiet music and lie on the floor with your child. Close your eyes and allow the music to help you both unwind. Have a game of cards or play a board game as a family. Invite your child’s friends over to play. Take some time out to stretch with your child. Stretching muscles is good for releasing tension and inducing relaxation. Learn more about how teaching children life skills can take the pain out of parenthood - Win Win Parenting
- Does your child know the benefits and the harms of technology?
We all know what it can be like when our child has an emotional meltdown – and it can happen over the littlest thing – like the toast being cut the wrong way! What about the supermarket meltdown when you say “no” to the junk food or latest toy! OR when you ask the kids to come off the technology! Are you continually fighting with your children about technology? Do you hear yourself saying “for goodness sake please turn the TV off”? “Enough is enough! How many times do I have to ask you to stop playing that game you’ve been on it for hours?” “Put that phone down and come and have some dinner!” And does this usually end up in a family fight? This is a common issue parents ask me about. The constant arguments over screen time are so frustrating and cause disharmony in the home. The research is clear – excessive screen time is harmful for children – but tell that to a child who is enjoying a game and you take iPad away or you ask your teen to end the game they’re playing online with their friends! What if there was a way to prevent melt-downs, flare-ups, and screen-time skirmishes. What if parents really understood the harms and benefits of technology and could explain clearly it to their children? In this video, Dr Rosina McAlpine explains the many harms of excessive and inappropriate technology use by children. Technology is not going away and so parents need to be able to make informed decisions about TV, phones, games, tablets and computers. As a parent, by understanding the harms, you can feel confident in your decisions and explain why you’re limiting technology to your children, rather than a general statement like “it’s not good for you so you need to stop” or “because I said so”. By being able to show your child the negative effects of technology on their body and their mind, they’ll know you just want to protect them from harm. By explaining to your children how technology can be used in a positive way – it’s a win win!
- Children behaving badly
Parenting expert Dr Rosina McAlpine interviewed for ABC Radio When a child starts behaving in an anti-social way, worrying about what's going on is normal - especially if hitting, biting or otherwise violent behaviour is out of character. So what's the right reaction for a parent: punishment, therapy, or an attempt to carry on as normal and assuming it's just a phase? Dr Rosina McAlpine is a parenting and education specialist, and the author of 'Win Win Parenting'. She's chatting with ABC Radio Brisbane Afternoons presenter Kat Feeney about dealing with childhood aggression.
- Building Self-esteem by spending time with your children.
Parents play a crucial role in helping their children develop and maintain good self-esteem. While there are many ways to support healthy self-esteem, one very important way is to simply spend one-on-one time with your child. This tells your child that they are important to you and valued. This in turn helps them to value themselves. If a parent is too busy to spend time with their children this tells the children that other things are more important and can result in them not feeling loved or valued. So take time each day to be with your children to show them how important they are. You can introduce the activity by saying something along the lines of “I’d like to spend some time with you to talk about how you are going and if hear about what you have been up to.” You can also share how you feel about your child as well words like. “you are really important to me, you make me very happy and I love you” go a long way to helping a child feel loved and valued. How do you feel when your child or spouse says “you are really important to me and I love you”? Fantastic … right? Find the words that feel right for you…right from the heart!
- See what happens when you are persistent
In today’s world of instant information, fast food and almost unlimited options, teaching kids persistence is an important life skill. Do you find your children give up at the first sign of a challenge? Try something once or twice and if they are not perfect at it move on to something else? Well, like all skills persistence can be learned and it is one of the most important skills you will ever teach your child. Success depends on “never giving up”. As soon as we give up we can’t achieve our goals. Professor Angela Duckworth has conducted in-depth studies of the most important factors for predicting success at “extremely high-challenge achievement.” Well it comes down to two main factors: Perseverance and Passion and Duckworth. Helping children learn delayed gratification is an important part of perseverance because achieving big goals takes time and continued effort. Building resilience also supports this process as children need to be able to overcome the obstacles and the challenges that will inevitably come their way in life. In our family we support Cameron to develop these qualities in a number of ways including working on long term projects, exploring ways to problems solve when obstacles come up and keep him on tasks just a little longer when he wants to give up...to stretch him. But, passion is the key as you’ll see in our video. Our son Cameron saw some You Tube videos of Brodie Smith 21 and Dude Perfect showing off their brilliance at throwing a Frisbee and other sporting feats! They really are incredible if truth be known... unbelievable so it’s definitely worth a look. Cameron as an aspiring ‘mini’ Brodie Smith has been tirelessly practicing and practicing and practicing for hours and days on end throwing a Frisbee at a target with his dad patiently filming and fetching Frisbee. While filming has even copped a few Frisbee’s in the head as you’ll see what a dedicated dad all for capturing that magic moment. . Its a pretty funny video take a look but with a great message... persistence pays! If you want to help your children develop life skills like good self esteem, resilience and persistence, check out my personal power home activity ebooks where your kids can learn skills in just 15 minutes at a time.
- Developing your child’s character: good behaviour, empathy and making positive choices
Every parent wants their child to be of good character. Character is all about how we act in life. We generally say a child is good natured or has “good character” if they behave in a way that is positive and make choices that improve the lives of others and the world. It is important to know that character is not a fixed personality trait, instead your child’s character is developed like any other life skill. In this interview with Professor Edward DeRoche, Director of the Character Development Center at The University of San Diego, you’ll learn all about: What character development is Why character development is crucial for your child’s life success How parents can help their children develop good character Why it is important to educate your child about how to make good choices How crucial it is to explain why poor choices lead to negative consequences Using opportunities to help children develop empathy and care for others Helping children think through their choices and their consequences especially choices they might make that could result in deadly consequences like taking drugs, alcohol and driving dangerously. Professor De Roche talks about helping children to be honest, respectful and responsible by modelling good behaviour. Social skills are crucial to a child’s development and helping them get on in the world. Watching age-appropriate TV shows with your children is a wonderful way to talk about many aspects of character development. For example, with teens, watching shows like the Big Bang Theory, or even reruns of old programs like Friends gives parents the opportunity to talk about integrity, good and bad choices, friendship, relationships, drugs and sexuality. Your child is always developing their character based on what they see and experience at home, in the media, at school and out in the world. Listen to this important interview about how you can help your child develop good character, make good choices and have the best chance for life success.
- Becoming an Unconditional Parent
Have you considered how ‘conditional’ life is and especially how conditional it is for children? I've been confronted with the notion of becoming an ‘unconditional parent’. As parents, we often unconsciously set conditions and rules for our children that rob them of the chance to learn how to make good choices and why they should make good decisions so as to empower themselves. For example here are some common ‘conditional’ statements "If you eat all your vegetables, then you can have..." “If you don’t do your homework, then there will be no …” "If you have a good rest now, then you'll be able to..." “If you get good grades at school, then you will…” “If you can’t speak respectfully to me then you will not …” Although I realised all my words were given with the best of intentions and from a place of love, I saw that it's constantly conditional. Yes, like you I want my child to be respectful, eat healthy food, do well at school and be happy along with all of the other wishes. Parents want their children to have embrace all life has to offer, but are we creating a ‘conditional’ child? Telling children what to do and what to think and conditionally rewarding/punishing them based on their achievement/non-achievement of these expectations means we are setting our children up for one of two things: Obedience – doing everything they’re told in order to get the reward and avoid the punishment or Rebellion – going against everything and anything we say irrespective of the rewards or punishment! Both of these outcomes are detrimental to your relationship with your children and for the wellbeing of your children. Rebellion destroys your ability to effectively communicate with each other and in an attempt to establish their identity and individuality, your children may do something dangerous and harm themselves. On the other hand, unconditionally obedient children are doomed to spend life trapped by other people's expectations and becomes ‘yes men’ or ‘yes women’. No loving parent would want either of these positions for their children! The best approach is to simply inspire, empower and help your children to truly understand 'The Why' behind an action or behaviour and to empower them to make the right choices in life for their wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. Parents often use rewards and praise to encourage good behaviour in their children, and consequences and punishments to discipline children for bad behaviour. I’m often asked about the best kinds of rewards to use and the most effective methods of discipline. Instead of answering these questions, I’d like to pose another for parents to consider, namely: is a reward/punishment approach to parenting supportive for children? In his book, Unconditional parenting , Alfie Kohn provides a comprehensive summary of the findings from years of research that have shown that ‘conditional parenting’ has anegative impact on children’s self-esteem and behaviour. Conditional parenting is when parents either withdraw their love and/or punish their children for what they perceive to be ‘bad’ behaviour, and reward or praise children for their ‘good’behaviour. This book is an insightful but confronting read, as it challenges many of the conventional approaches to parenting we all use, such as time out when children misbehave and praise for good behaviour. Instead Kohn offers alternatives to conditional parenting for supporting our children’s day-to-day development and when dealing with behavioural challenges. His approach is that of accepting and loving our children unconditionally – no strings attached. Unconditional parenting isn’t about letting children ‘run wild’ but rather taking a lovingly active, protective and educational role in our children’s lives so they learn how to be in the world. Imagine what it would have been like to grow up loved unconditionally … not to have to be or do anything to earn your parents’ love. Perhaps this is what authentic parenting is about.
- Developing the skills to be a great parent
Join parenting expert Dr Rosina McAlpine and Dr Robyn Mills as they explore how to develop the knowledge and skills to be a great parent ( listen here ). You wouldn't drive a car without months of practice and reading the law in regard to driving on our roads. You wouldn't go out on a professional football field without years of training and understanding the rules of the game. You wouldn't cut someone's hair without instruction and experience ... yet most of us became parents and learnt our skills on the job and only got help if a crisis occurred. Dr Rosina McAlpine became a parent 6 years ago and since then she's been researching the latest in child development and parenting. You'll hear about the skills and knowledge parents need to be proactive in parenting rather than just reactive. We all know that parenting is one of the most important roles in life, and the more tools and knowledge you have the easier and more enjoyable it is!











