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We all know what it can be like when our child has an emotional meltdown – and it can happen over the littlest thing – like the toast being cut the wrong way!  What about the supermarket meltdown when you say “no” to the junk food or latest toy! OR when you ask the kids to come off the technology! Are you continually fighting with your children about technology? Do you hear yourself saying “for goodness sake please turn the TV off”? “Enough is enough! How many times do I have to ask you to stop playing that game you’ve been on it for hours?” “Put that phone down and come and have some dinner!” And does this usually end up in a family fight? This is a common issue parents ask me about. The constant arguments over screen time are so frustrating and cause disharmony in the home. The research is clear – excessive screen time is harmful for children – but tell that to a child who is enjoying a game and you take iPad away or you ask your teen to end the game they’re playing online with their friends! What if there was a way to prevent melt-downs, flare-ups, and screen-time skirmishes. What if parents really understood the harms and benefits of technology and could explain clearly it to their children? In this video, Dr Rosina McAlpine explains the many harms of excessive and inappropriate technology use by children. Technology is not going away and so parents need to be able to make informed decisions about TV, phones, games, tablets and computers. As a parent, by understanding the harms, you can feel confident in your decisions and explain why you’re limiting technology to your children, rather than a general statement like “it’s not good for you so you need to stop” or “because I said so”. By being able to show your child the negative effects of technology on their body and their mind, they’ll know you just want to protect them from harm. By explaining to your children how technology can be used in a positive way – it’s a win win!

Parents play a crucial role in helping their children develop and maintain good self-esteem. While there are many ways to support healthy self-esteem, one very important way is to simply spend one-on-one time with your child. This tells your child that they are important to you and valued. This in turn helps them to value themselves. If a parent is too busy to spend time with their children this tells the children that other things are more important and can result in them not feeling loved or valued. So take time each day to be with your children to show them how important they are. You can introduce the activity by saying something along the lines of “I’d like to spend some time with you to talk about how you are going and if hear about what you have been up to.” You can also share how you feel about your child as well words like. “you are really important to me, you make me very happy and I love you” go a long way to helping a child feel loved and valued. How do you feel when your child or spouse says “you are really important to me and I love you”? Fantastic … right? Find the words that feel right for you…right from the heart!

In today’s world of instant information, fast food and almost unlimited options, teaching kids persistence is an important life skill. Do you find your children give up at the first sign of a challenge? Try something once or twice and if they are not perfect at it move on to something else? Well, like all skills persistence can be learned and it is one of the most important skills you will ever teach your child. Success depends on “never giving up”. As soon as we give up we can’t achieve our goals. Professor Angela Duckworth has conducted in-depth studies of the most important factors for predicting success at “extremely high-challenge achievement.” Well it comes down to two main factors: Perseverance and Passion and Duckworth. Helping children learn delayed gratification is an important part of perseverance because achieving big goals takes time and continued effort. Building resilience also supports this process as children need to be able to overcome the obstacles and the challenges that will inevitably come their way in life. In our family we support Cameron to develop these qualities in a number of ways including working on long term projects, exploring ways to problems solve when obstacles come up and keep him on tasks just a little longer when he wants to give up...to stretch him. But, passion is the key as you’ll see in our video. Our son Cameron saw some You Tube videos of Brodie Smith 21 and Dude Perfect showing off their brilliance at throwing a Frisbee and other sporting feats! They really are incredible if truth be known... unbelievable so it’s definitely worth a look. Cameron as an aspiring ‘mini’ Brodie Smith has been tirelessly practicing and practicing and practicing for hours and days on end throwing a Frisbee at a target with his dad patiently filming and fetching Frisbee. While filming has even copped a few Frisbee’s in the head as you’ll see what a dedicated dad all for capturing that magic moment. . Its a pretty funny video take a look but with a great message... persistence pays! If you want to help your children develop life skills like good self esteem, resilience and persistence, check out my personal power home activity ebooks where your kids can learn skills in just 15 minutes at a time.

Every parent wants their child to be of good character. Character is all about how we act in life. We generally say a child is good natured or has “good character” if they behave in a way that is positive and make choices that improve the lives of others and the world. It is important to know that character is not a fixed personality trait, instead your child’s character is developed like any other life skill. In this interview with Professor Edward DeRoche, Director of the Character Development Center at The University of San Diego, you’ll learn all about: What character development is Why character development is crucial for your child’s life success How parents can help their children develop good character Why it is important to educate your child about how to make good choices How crucial it is to explain why poor choices lead to negative consequences Using opportunities to help children develop empathy and care for others Helping children think through their choices and their consequences especially choices they might make that could result in deadly consequences like taking drugs, alcohol and driving dangerously. Professor De Roche talks about helping children to be honest, respectful and responsible by modelling good behaviour. Social skills are crucial to a child’s development and helping them get on in the world. Watching age-appropriate TV shows with your children is a wonderful way to talk about many aspects of character development. For example, with teens, watching shows like  the Big Bang Theory, or even reruns of old programs like Friends gives parents the opportunity to  talk about integrity, good and bad choices, friendship, relationships, drugs and sexuality. Your child is always developing their character based on what they see and experience at home, in the media, at school and out in the world. Listen to this important interview about how you can help your child develop good character, make good choices and have the best chance for life success.

Have you considered how ‘conditional’ life is and especially how conditional it is for children? I've been confronted with the notion of becoming an ‘unconditional parent’. As parents, we often unconsciously set conditions and rules for our children that rob them of the chance to learn how to make good choices and why they should make good decisions so as to empower themselves. For example here are some common ‘conditional’ statements "If you eat all your vegetables, then you can have..." “If you don’t do your homework, then there will be no …” "If you have a good rest now, then you'll be able to..." “If you get good grades at school, then you will…” “If you can’t speak respectfully to me then you will not …” Although I realised all my words were given with the best of intentions and from a place of love, I saw that it's constantly conditional. Yes, like you I want my child to be respectful, eat healthy food, do well at school and be happy along with all of the other wishes. Parents want their children to have embrace all life has to offer, but are we creating a ‘conditional’ child? Telling children what to do and what to think and conditionally rewarding/punishing them based on their achievement/non-achievement of these expectations means we are setting our children up for one of two things: Obedience – doing everything they’re told in order to get the reward and avoid the punishment or Rebellion – going against everything and anything we say irrespective of the rewards or punishment! Both of these outcomes are detrimental to your relationship with your children and for the wellbeing of your children. Rebellion destroys your ability to effectively communicate with each other and in an attempt to establish their identity and individuality, your children may do something dangerous and harm themselves. On the other hand, unconditionally obedient children are doomed to spend life trapped by other people's expectations and becomes ‘yes men’ or ‘yes women’. No loving parent would want either of these positions for their children! The best approach is to simply inspire, empower and help your children to truly understand 'The Why' behind an action or behaviour and to empower them to make the right choices in life for their wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. Parents often use rewards and praise to encourage good behaviour in their children, and consequences and punishments to discipline children for bad behaviour. I’m often asked about the best kinds of rewards to use and the most effective methods of discipline. Instead of answering these questions, I’d like to pose another for parents to consider, namely: is a reward/punishment approach to parenting supportive for children? In his book,  Unconditional parenting , Alfie Kohn provides a comprehensive summary of the findings from years of research that have shown that ‘conditional parenting’ has anegative impact on children’s self-esteem and behaviour. Conditional parenting is when parents either withdraw their love and/or punish their children for what they perceive to be ‘bad’ behaviour, and reward or praise children for their ‘good’behaviour. This book is an insightful but confronting read, as it challenges many of the conventional approaches to parenting we all use, such as time out when children misbehave and praise for good behaviour. Instead Kohn offers alternatives to conditional parenting for supporting our children’s day-to-day development and when dealing with behavioural challenges. His approach is that of accepting and loving our children unconditionally – no strings attached. Unconditional parenting isn’t about letting children ‘run wild’ but rather taking a lovingly active, protective and educational role in our children’s lives so they learn how to be in the world. Imagine what it would have been like to grow up loved unconditionally … not to have to be or do anything to earn your parents’ love. Perhaps this is what authentic parenting is about.

Join parenting expert Dr Rosina McAlpine and Dr Robyn Mills as they explore how to develop the knowledge and skills to be a great parent ( listen here ).  You wouldn't drive a car without months of practice and reading the law in regard to driving on our roads.  You wouldn't go out on a professional football field without years of training and understanding the rules of the game.  You wouldn't cut someone's hair without instruction and experience ... yet most of us became parents and learnt our skills on the job and only got help if a crisis occurred.   Dr Rosina McAlpine became a parent 6 years ago and since then she's been researching the latest in child development and  parenting. You'll hear about the skills and knowledge parents need to be proactive in parenting rather than just reactive.  We all know that parenting is one of the most important roles in life, and the more tools and knowledge you have the easier and more enjoyable it is!

Chris Hook 7 News View the full article here Extract from article Parenting experts have welcomed a push to convince parents to stop using police as a threat to get their children to behave, warning the negative image of scary cops could last for years and stop teenagers seeking help when needed. However they concede most parents are eventually tempted to invoke police or other “bogeymen” when confronted with prolonged naughtiness. On Wednesday, local area command Facebook pages across NSW shared a poster imploring parents to not “make your children scared of the police”.It asks that parents don’t tell their youngsters that police will “arrest them if they are naughty” because they want children to feel they can depend upon them if they are “scared, lost and in danger”. “‘Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you.’” — DR ROSINA MCLPINE “I think it’s a great thing, I really love it, it has an underlying message that will get parents to think about what their own approaches are and I think everyone would have used some form of this, whether it’s the police or the bogeyman,” NSW Parents' Coun cil president and child psychologist Dr Rose Cantali told 7NEWS.com.au . “‘Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you.’” — DR ROSINA MCALPINE Parenting expert and author Dr Rosina McAlpline said it is important to stress to young children that police are there to keep us safe. She said using police as a threat can plant a negative idea that lasts into their teen years and young adulthood. McAlpine said it could stop youngsters seeking help in an emergency. “Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you,” she told 7NEWS.com.au “You absolutely don’t want to do that and it might happen for life." Cantali echoed the point. “It shows the police to be some kind of bad person who will put them in jail and that then leads to a long term thing and that’s a real concern,” she said.

Parenting expert Dr Rosina interviews Mitzi Weinman on developing good habits and techniques help reduce stress that can result from procrastinating and rushing to get done things done -- whether homework, projects, etc. These are life skills and life skills are learned through teaching – at any age. Mitzi speaks on a range of subjects including: Time & Productivity, Projecting an Organized Image, Building a Balanced Routine to Reduce Stress and Clutter; and so on and specializes in Motivational Speeches, Training Workshops, Keynote Addresses and Coaching. Mitzi realized that the work that she does with managers, executives and entrepreneurs, transcends to students. The daily struggles that students and parents have with homework, school projects and over scheduling has led Mitzi to offer programs and coaching to students from elementary and up and parents.  Mitzi offers: Custom workshops (half-day) Time-saver seminars (1-2 hours ) Individual consultations  Motivational Speaking  Many of Mitzi’s tips and techniques appear regularly in many publications and on TV, including Fox 25 News, Investor’s Business Daily, Boston Business Journal, American Way Magazine (American Airlines inflight magazine), Woman’s Day, Marie Claire, Redbook, Bj’s Journal, Mass High Tech and more. Mitzi also publishes her own E-Newsletter, OnTime. Mitzi received for B.S. from Syracuse University from the Newhouse School of Public Communications and lives in Needham, MA with her husband, son and dog. Specialties: For Students: - Organizing: Homework & Studying, Calendar, School Papers, etc. - Public Speaking & Presentation Skills - Goal Development For Managers, Executives, Entrepreneurs & Parents - Going for your Goal! - Delegating: An Art in Giving, Receiving & Leveraging Time - Effective Meeting Management - Escaping Your TimeTraps! - From Perception to Reality -- Organize for Success! - Blending & Balancing Your Professional & Personal Lives

Raising Inspired Children is all about teaching them life skills from the time they are born! Communication and bonding are key elements to establishing a strong relationship with your child for life. Opening the lines of meaningful communication between yourself and your baby isn't something reserved for the realm of science fiction. There is now a way to understand and communicate with your baby- yes, that's right, your baby! Vivien Sabel, has discovered that babies communicate meaningfully with their parents from day one but unfortunately, most parents haven’t been able to understand the subtle signs, signals, and non-verbal cues of their infant's language. Vivien had so much to share that I have summarised it in a two part series, offering helpful advice on how Mums and Dads can learn what to look for and be empowered to actually communicate with their babies. Imagine what it would be like no to have to wonder what your baby needs … but to KNOW. Read on to find out how. Vivien’s background provides her with the skills for her groundbreaking discovery Vivien was born in a small town in Lancashire in the U.K. to a hearing father and a deaf mother. Her mother never really announced to the world that she was deaf, but growing up, Vivien learned to tune into the subtle cues from her mother's facial expressions and body language in order to figure out how her mother felt about the world around her. On the other side of the coin, Vivien's father quite a loud man and the stark contrast between her parents helped her to fully understand how multi-faceted communication between individuals could be. Although it was challenging at times, Vivien was able to take the communication life skills that she had learned from her mother and apply them to her therapy sessions today. These life skills eventually enabled Vivien to open up the lines of communication between parents and their babies. Given her extensive background in Sign Language Interpretation, Deaf Studies, and her work as a psychotherapist, when her daughter, Blossom, was born, she began to take keen interest in her facial expressions and body language and noticed that each gesture carried with it a particular meaning. Tuning in to the non-verbal cues Most new parents find themselves in the frightening and confusing situation of playing a guessing game with their babies. At the sound of their crying infant, they begin guessing in an attempt to try and figure out what the baby needs. "Are you hungry? Tired? Need a diaper/nappy change? Sleepy? In pain? Just need a cuddle?" No parent likes to hear their baby cry and every parent feels helpless and frustrated when they are unable to figure out why their child is crying and how to soothe his/her distress. Programs like the  Dunstan Baby Method  teach parents to listen for audio cues and to interpret and understand a baby’s cries. Colin and I found this DVD so helpful when Cameron was born as it trained our ears to hear the different cries – one for hunger, discomfort, tiredness and so on. It was amazing how our baby’s cries all sounded the same until we trained our ears to hear the difference. The  Blossom Method  doesn’t rely on cries, it instead helps parents look for visual cues to help them determine their baby's needs even before they cry. I wish Vivien’s work was around 5 years ago when Cameron was a baby. Vivien explains that when trying to work out your baby's non-verbal signs of communication (this is a baby’s body language – and includes tongue movements, skin colour, facial expressions and other body movements) one of the first things that you need to do is pay close attention to subtle changes in your baby’s facial expressions. Different movements and expressions represent different needs like hunger, discomfort, tiredness or a dirty nappy. Actually, Vivien told me a funny story, she knew when her infant daughter made a particular series of small gestures with her upper body, her face, her mouth, and her tongue, she was able to recognise that these movements indicated her daughter's desire to go potty. Her daughter, Blossom, would make these movements a few minutes before she actually went, giving Vivien enough time to make and understand the connection between the gesture and the activity, and either give the baby to her father or someone else to change the nappy/diaper or prepare herself for what was about to happen. The same is true for your baby – you can learn the signs. Take special note of unusual patterns and gestures before the onset of an event, as well as the time between the expression and the action. By recording your observations, you'll be better able to memorise and recognise what your child desires. In her book,  The Blossom Method: The Revolutionary Way to Communicate With Your Baby From Birth  Vivien teaches parents what to look for – making it quicker for parents to learn the signs. Mirroring is key In addition to making note of the repeating patterns and gestures, you need to instinctively mirror them back to your baby. Doing so helps you to connect with your child and allows you to respond to his/her needs before the onset of the crying stage. Make an offer your baby won't refuse Most Mums and Dads are surprised to learn that their babies have the ability to choose what they want via open communication. Whenever Blossom was hungry, she would make a particular facial gesture that Vivien would mirror back to her. Blossom would then reproduce the sign and Vivien's response was to offer her breast for breastfeeding to see if that's what Blossom wanted. Nine times out of ten, Vivien's observation of the sign and her gut instincts were right. However, if Blossom didn't want that particular breast, she'd continue making the 'Hungry' gesture until Vivien offered her the other breast. Hard to believe, I know - but TRUE. In this case, mother and daughter were able to communicate seamlessly and simply. It all takes time As with most things in life, you won’t get everything perfect on the first attempt. Learning to zoom in on your baby's subtle gestures isn't a skill that is learned in the blink of an eye, but many parents become easily frustrated if everything doesn't flow smoothly from the start. Although there are gestures and signs that have a common thread or some level of similarity, most will vary depending on your baby. Remember that each infant is different and part of the process of communicating with your little one is spending the time to bond with your new bundle of joy and moulding them to become an Inspired Child. Contrary to popular belief, babies have the ability to communicate with their parents. While the language of most adults falls in the realm of verbal communication, babies express their feelings, desires, wants, and needs through non-verbal sources. All it takes for parents to master the life skills needed to effectively communicate with their child is an open mind and keen eyes. For more tips on how to communicate with your baby, have a look at The Blossom Method: The Revolutionary Way to Communicate With Your Baby From Birth and you’ll feel more confident as a parent and more connected to your baby. In part two of this interview with Vivien you’ll learn more about the Blossom Method and its man benefits including that babies whose parents consistently responded to their needs during their formative years were more likely to form healthier, more stable social bonds and relationships as they became older. A bit about Vivien Sabel Vivien is a mum, a stepmother, a grandmother, a researcher, a psychotherapist, and a clinical supervisor. As a woman of many hats, she has had the chance to view the wonderful world of Parenting through many different eyes and frequently writes about her experiences, observations, and recommendations in a variety of journal articles, blogs, and books. Her most recent paper focuses on 'Life after Delivery' and she has a number of guest blogs on websites like Planet Talks. Her book, ' The Blossom Method ', and website,  www.viviensabel.com , delve into the world of baby communication and teach parents how to effectively and efficiently open get in touch with their babies' needs and emotions via body language.

Learning to effectively and efficiently communicate with your baby at an early age has huge implications in both the short and long term period. It not only strengthens the bonds between parents and their children, it also helps foster the conditions needed to raise Inspired Children. I recently interviewed Vivien Sabel, author of The Blossom Method: The Revolutionary Way to Communicate With Your Baby From Birth discovered that babies communicate meaningfully with their parents from day one but unfortunately, most parents haven’t been able to understand the subtle signs, signals, and non-verbal cues of their infant's language. Vivien had so much to share that I summarised it in a two part series, offering helpful advice on how Mums and Dads can learn what to look for and be empowered to actually communicate with their babies.   Lack of communication also affects parents Vivien often sees parents in her practice who are frustrated with the lack of communication and contact with their own parents. Many adults report negative parenting experiences from their own childhood and, ironically enough, their own children also report having the same issues with them. It's a vicious cycle that is constantly perpetuated along generational lines and at the root of the matter, is the inability to learn how to understand subtle body cues, relate to unheard non-verbal gestures that speak volumes, and connect with each other from early on in life. As a type 'baby sign language', The Blossom Method starts the process early by opening and keeping the communication between parents and their babies going long before the little ones learn to talk. Children understand from an early age that they are being heard and acknowledged, which eventually makes speech development, mutual trust, and respect flow effortlessly. The long lasting implications The research has shown that babies whose parents consistently responded to their needs during their formative years were more likely to form healthier, more stable social bonds and relationships as they became older. One theory is that early communication helps children become emotionally intelligent, making them better able to express themselves and self regulate, which in turn, builds self confidence, self-esteem, and resilience. Their emotional and cognitive development is usually more advanced than babies who lacked this great opportunity early in life. Open other avenues of communication Like most parents, I understood the importance of being there for my son early on in his life. Imagine how frustrating it can be if you were in desperate need of something, but despite your best efforts, trying to make those around you understand your feelings and thoughts was almost impossible? Imagine how frustrating it is as an adult when you're trying to get your point across, but people just don't get it? Now imagine doing that and being young and vulnerable! One of the benefits of the Blossom Method for new parents and the Inspired Children program for parents of 4-14 year old children is that they help parents and their children find more creative ways to communication. When our son Cameron was young I tried to be creative in our communication and I found that he also opened up more unique ways for him to get his point across. As a baby, he mimicked my hand movements long before he could speak which, in a sense, was his way of learning to sign (but not in the traditional way of learning sign language – just our own unique sign language – but it really worked for us). His little gestures made me wonder about how much more information he was trying to tell me that I couldn't understand because I couldn't interpret it. I realised that he grasped I was trying really hard to understand him, so he was patient and willing to keep making gestures and signs until I actually did. As he grew older and his communication became words - sometimes words only he understood - he remained patient with me when I didn’t understand and used different words and gestures. I think he has developed a skill for life in his ability to patiently persist and use many ways get his point across. As  toddler Cameron couldn’t say the “c” or “k” sound. I remember this incident clearly, he was trying to tell me about a “clock” and as you can imagine without the “c” sound I just couldn’t get it no many times he repeated the word. After several attempts he did his best to say “Tit Tot” in relation to clock and I finally got it I repeated “tick tock clock” and the smile beamed across his face and I praised is tenacity in helping me to understand! I truly believe that our early and continued effective and respectful communication will serve him well for life. Another great example of how creative ways of communication can open up our understanding of not just what they are thinking but what our children are feeling is from Vivien's daughter, Blossom. When she was very young, her older brother didn’t live with them and after a family trip she felt sad about seeing her older brother leave, she turned to her mum and expressed that her chest hurts. "Where does it hurt?" "Where my heart lives." After observing Blossom's body language, Vivien was able to deduce that she was sad to see her brother leave and expressed how much she already missed him. Blossom used her body to convey her emotional state and Vivien was able to understand to true meaning of what her daughter was saying almost in an instant. Mimicking is the key to being a good listener Vivien explains that many times, parents believe that by engaging their children in family activities, they can develop a rapport with their kids. Sadly, this isn't the case. Playing with your child doesn't automatically make your child open up to you about their feelings and parents need to learn how to understand all the things that their children aren't saying and be able to reflect their general mood. If your child has had a rough day at school and comes home listless and sluggish, they aren't going to open up to you if your mood is upbeat and vibrant. Your child will feel disconnected and believe that you wouldn't really understand what has happened in his life. If parents can learn to take subtle cues from their children's body language and reflect it back to them, they are more likely to get their kids to open up about deeper issues. Never underestimate their children's emotional intelligence As a therapist Vivien often observes that oftentimes parents have experienced something in their own childhood that has kept them in the childlike state or that takes them mentally back to a time in childhood. Sometimes this feeds into their interactions and conversations with their children and that’s where it can harm relationships. For example, we’ve all experienced it - sometimes a parenting situation triggers an old wound from childhood where you were rejected, misunderstood or felt unloved and then unconsciously it’s easy to slip back into that 9-year old little girl or that 3 ½ year old little boy which then blocks parents ability to really listen and communicate with their children in the here and now. Furthermore, parents often think that they are protecting their children by avoiding or oversimplifying ideas, when in actuality, children are very sensitive to the non-verbal cues and body language that is being expressed. They read that things are not all right with either parent or in the home in general, and sadly, come to accept that, "if it’s okay for Mum or Dad to hide their emotions and tell me that everything is all right when I can feel and I can see it’s not, then I should do so as well – that’s the right thing to do." Well we are their role model – if it isn’t right why are we doing it? Children are much smarter than we give them credit for, so if parents want build a great rapport with their kids, then they need to display that same level of openness that they expect from their children.  Calmer more confident parents There's no denying it; the implications of being able to understand and respond to the needs of your baby has far reaching impact in the quality of your life and your child’s life from childhood through to old age. Parents who have used the  Blossom Method  often tell Vivien that they find themselves being calmer and more confident when they first hold their precious little one in their arms for the first time. Since they have learned to quickly recognise and understand the meaning of general facial gestures from their newborn, they feel armed and prepared to delve into the world of Parenting. New Mums and Dads find that their anxiety is minimised and, in turn, isn't reflected onto their infants, resulting in a more positive bonding experience for everyone. Building rapport with your children involves much more than chatting over a bowl of cereal; it requires a deeper understanding of the numerous non-verbal cues from both parents and their kids. Learning the essential life skills of effective Communication and emotional intelligence begins from as early as the first hour after birth and lasts throughout your children’s lives as the communicate with family, friends and peers. By creating the mental, emotional, and physical conditions that will foster such development, parents can ensure that their kids will grow to be well-balanced, happy, and healthy Inspired Children.

Parents want to raise respectful children who make good choices. We want our kids to be well behaved and choose the right way to act in the world and the right way to speak with people. If your children do something “naughty” or act “disrespectfully,” how do you help your children to learn the right thing to do? Do you get angry and yell at the kids or do you send them into time out?   Do you give them a reward if they have good behaviour or take something away if they do the wrong thing? I was hit as a child and I hated it. I also hated seeing my siblings get hit as well. So I was determined not to hit our son. When I’ve yelled at our son, or put him in time out or made him do things for a reward or punishment - it didn’t feel good to me… I felt guilty and I hated seeing him upset. I can’t imagine any parent who likes disciplining and punishing their children... it doesn't feel good to yell, put them in time out or smack them. They are our precious babes ... but at the same time we can't have them running wild right? So I asked the questions: What if there was a different way to help our kids learn the right thing to do? What if we could raise kids without hitting, yelling or sending them away? Is there a way we can control our anger and temper and not yell at the kids? I was desperate to find a better way!!! I’ve been doing research for a number of years about different ways to teach our kids how to be in the world without discipline or punishment and instead using empathy and education. By trial and error I’ve been trying everything I’ve learned with our son and he is a wonderful boy. I have so many examples of how I’ve used empathy and education when he “drew on his bed with permanent markers” and “tipped the liquid soap down the sink” and much more… Parenting is about nurturing and educating our children to become the best they can be for themselves, in their families and to their communities. So if you're sick of trying to control your kids with authority, strictness and a firm hand and you'd like to learn more effective and loving ways to raise kids then listen in. With empathy and education you’re teaching kids how to problem- solve, learn about the natural consequences of bad choices and to build a lasting respectful relationship with your children.  In this interview, Dr Robyn Mills and I discuss the pro's and cons of various common forms of discipline and punishment used by parents. I also share insights into a life skills approach to parenting which eliminates the need for discipline and punishment. Intrigued? Listen in and get loads of positive parenting advice for raising well adjusted respectful children.

I recently interviewed Dr Robinson on the Inspired Children radio program where she shared her research on the negative impact of stress in pregnancy as well as ways to help pregnant mothers reduce their stress.  Dr Robinson shares her insights into early detection and support for children with physical, behavioural and emotional issues. Early signs of future problems Young children with behavioural problems can display a series of traits at opposite ends of a spectrum from disengaged or withdrawn to aggressive and hyperactive. At the introverted end of the spectrum where a child that is withdrawn and quiet and refuses to engage others in conversation, it is not always easy to tell if a child has a behavioural issue or is simply shy and requires coaching and support in social interactions. By their very nature, children are naturally curious beings, so a child who doesn't want to go out and explore, is sad, cries a lot, or often displays signs of separation anxiety (especially for prolonged periods) it is advisable to seek professional help. Early intervention is crucial because if a child is not given help to overcome these issues, the problems are likely to continue into the teen years. On the other end of the spectrum is a toddler who is overly aggressive, hyperactive and generally disobedient. Once again early intervention is recommended as a child who displays a lack of forward thinking or deeper understanding of the consequences of his or her actions and is driven by impulses is likely to make poor life choices which can be very dangerous in the teen years. Childhood issues become an avalanche of emotions in teen years The wonder and intrigue about human beings is that they are unique and unpredictable, so it’s hard to describe the impact of hormonal changes in adolescents on their behavioural issues. Children who are aggressive as a toddler and into the during the pre-teen years, may not necessarily remain aggressive in the teen years. Some teens become more aggressive, whereas others fall into a state of depression when they realise that their behavioural issues make it difficult for others to bond with them and they feel isolated. On the other hand, there are teens who use this social isolation as an opportunity to seek family or professional support to enable them to re-evaluate, understand their behavioural patterns and make a concerted effort to change in order to break free from their status as social misfits and outcasts. Sadly, the complications of puberty coupled with issues that are carried over from childhood can create major problems for teens and their parents, especially when more serious issues, like sexual promiscuity, drug abuse, cutting or eating disorders, emerge. Research shows that teaching children life skills can reduce their use of alcohol and other substance abuse. Parents wanting to know more about how to support their children’s self esteem, resilience and other life skills see   Inspired Children: How the leading minds of today raise their kids  where Dr Michael Hall shares his wealth of insights into raising psychologically healthy children,  Dr Joe Dispenza explains how parents can teach their children emotional intelligence, Maggie Dent discusses how to save our children form this chaotic world by helping them manage stress and anxiety... and so much more. Inspired Children turns the science of child development into the art of parenting. This means parents can make informed parenting decisions based on the latest research into child development. About Dr. Monique Robinson As an Australian Rotary Health Post-Doctoral Research fellow at the  Telethon Institute for Child Health Research , Dr. Monique Robinson's research revolves around determining the early life risk factors that later lead to mental health problems in kids and teens. She has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and has garnered numerous accolades for her contribution to this area of research. Monique is a registered psychologist and she is one of the contributors to the book:  Inspired Children:  How the leading minds of today raise their kids, where she goes into more detail about her research and how mothers can manage stress in pregnancy to give their babies the best start in life. In the field of Prenatal, Child, and Adolescent Mental Health, one of Monique’s biggest research projects to date looks at the stress experienced by mothers during pregnancy and how these common stress factors can increase the risk of behavioural problems in children.