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Chris Hook 7 News View the full article here Extract from article Parenting experts have welcomed a push to convince parents to stop using police as a threat to get their children to behave, warning the negative image of scary cops could last for years and stop teenagers seeking help when needed. However they concede most parents are eventually tempted to invoke police or other “bogeymen” when confronted with prolonged naughtiness. On Wednesday, local area command Facebook pages across NSW shared a poster imploring parents to not “make your children scared of the police”.It asks that parents don’t tell their youngsters that police will “arrest them if they are naughty” because they want children to feel they can depend upon them if they are “scared, lost and in danger”. “‘Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you.’” — DR ROSINA MCLPINE “I think it’s a great thing, I really love it, it has an underlying message that will get parents to think about what their own approaches are and I think everyone would have used some form of this, whether it’s the police or the bogeyman,” NSW Parents' Coun cil president and child psychologist Dr Rose Cantali told 7NEWS.com.au . “‘Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you.’” — DR ROSINA MCALPINE Parenting expert and author Dr Rosina McAlpline said it is important to stress to young children that police are there to keep us safe. She said using police as a threat can plant a negative idea that lasts into their teen years and young adulthood. McAlpine said it could stop youngsters seeking help in an emergency. “Young people will end up with this idea that police are there to arrest you, not to help you,” she told 7NEWS.com.au “You absolutely don’t want to do that and it might happen for life." Cantali echoed the point. “It shows the police to be some kind of bad person who will put them in jail and that then leads to a long term thing and that’s a real concern,” she said.

Parenting expert Dr Rosina interviews Mitzi Weinman on developing good habits and techniques help reduce stress that can result from procrastinating and rushing to get done things done -- whether homework, projects, etc. These are life skills and life skills are learned through teaching – at any age. Mitzi speaks on a range of subjects including: Time & Productivity, Projecting an Organized Image, Building a Balanced Routine to Reduce Stress and Clutter; and so on and specializes in Motivational Speeches, Training Workshops, Keynote Addresses and Coaching. Mitzi realized that the work that she does with managers, executives and entrepreneurs, transcends to students. The daily struggles that students and parents have with homework, school projects and over scheduling has led Mitzi to offer programs and coaching to students from elementary and up and parents.  Mitzi offers: Custom workshops (half-day) Time-saver seminars (1-2 hours ) Individual consultations  Motivational Speaking  Many of Mitzi’s tips and techniques appear regularly in many publications and on TV, including Fox 25 News, Investor’s Business Daily, Boston Business Journal, American Way Magazine (American Airlines inflight magazine), Woman’s Day, Marie Claire, Redbook, Bj’s Journal, Mass High Tech and more. Mitzi also publishes her own E-Newsletter, OnTime. Mitzi received for B.S. from Syracuse University from the Newhouse School of Public Communications and lives in Needham, MA with her husband, son and dog. Specialties: For Students: - Organizing: Homework & Studying, Calendar, School Papers, etc. - Public Speaking & Presentation Skills - Goal Development For Managers, Executives, Entrepreneurs & Parents - Going for your Goal! - Delegating: An Art in Giving, Receiving & Leveraging Time - Effective Meeting Management - Escaping Your TimeTraps! - From Perception to Reality -- Organize for Success! - Blending & Balancing Your Professional & Personal Lives

Raising Inspired Children is all about teaching them life skills from the time they are born! Communication and bonding are key elements to establishing a strong relationship with your child for life. Opening the lines of meaningful communication between yourself and your baby isn't something reserved for the realm of science fiction. There is now a way to understand and communicate with your baby- yes, that's right, your baby! Vivien Sabel, has discovered that babies communicate meaningfully with their parents from day one but unfortunately, most parents haven’t been able to understand the subtle signs, signals, and non-verbal cues of their infant's language. Vivien had so much to share that I have summarised it in a two part series, offering helpful advice on how Mums and Dads can learn what to look for and be empowered to actually communicate with their babies. Imagine what it would be like no to have to wonder what your baby needs … but to KNOW. Read on to find out how. Vivien’s background provides her with the skills for her groundbreaking discovery Vivien was born in a small town in Lancashire in the U.K. to a hearing father and a deaf mother. Her mother never really announced to the world that she was deaf, but growing up, Vivien learned to tune into the subtle cues from her mother's facial expressions and body language in order to figure out how her mother felt about the world around her. On the other side of the coin, Vivien's father quite a loud man and the stark contrast between her parents helped her to fully understand how multi-faceted communication between individuals could be. Although it was challenging at times, Vivien was able to take the communication life skills that she had learned from her mother and apply them to her therapy sessions today. These life skills eventually enabled Vivien to open up the lines of communication between parents and their babies. Given her extensive background in Sign Language Interpretation, Deaf Studies, and her work as a psychotherapist, when her daughter, Blossom, was born, she began to take keen interest in her facial expressions and body language and noticed that each gesture carried with it a particular meaning. Tuning in to the non-verbal cues Most new parents find themselves in the frightening and confusing situation of playing a guessing game with their babies. At the sound of their crying infant, they begin guessing in an attempt to try and figure out what the baby needs. "Are you hungry? Tired? Need a diaper/nappy change? Sleepy? In pain? Just need a cuddle?" No parent likes to hear their baby cry and every parent feels helpless and frustrated when they are unable to figure out why their child is crying and how to soothe his/her distress. Programs like the  Dunstan Baby Method  teach parents to listen for audio cues and to interpret and understand a baby’s cries. Colin and I found this DVD so helpful when Cameron was born as it trained our ears to hear the different cries – one for hunger, discomfort, tiredness and so on. It was amazing how our baby’s cries all sounded the same until we trained our ears to hear the difference. The  Blossom Method  doesn’t rely on cries, it instead helps parents look for visual cues to help them determine their baby's needs even before they cry. I wish Vivien’s work was around 5 years ago when Cameron was a baby. Vivien explains that when trying to work out your baby's non-verbal signs of communication (this is a baby’s body language – and includes tongue movements, skin colour, facial expressions and other body movements) one of the first things that you need to do is pay close attention to subtle changes in your baby’s facial expressions. Different movements and expressions represent different needs like hunger, discomfort, tiredness or a dirty nappy. Actually, Vivien told me a funny story, she knew when her infant daughter made a particular series of small gestures with her upper body, her face, her mouth, and her tongue, she was able to recognise that these movements indicated her daughter's desire to go potty. Her daughter, Blossom, would make these movements a few minutes before she actually went, giving Vivien enough time to make and understand the connection between the gesture and the activity, and either give the baby to her father or someone else to change the nappy/diaper or prepare herself for what was about to happen. The same is true for your baby – you can learn the signs. Take special note of unusual patterns and gestures before the onset of an event, as well as the time between the expression and the action. By recording your observations, you'll be better able to memorise and recognise what your child desires. In her book,  The Blossom Method: The Revolutionary Way to Communicate With Your Baby From Birth  Vivien teaches parents what to look for – making it quicker for parents to learn the signs. Mirroring is key In addition to making note of the repeating patterns and gestures, you need to instinctively mirror them back to your baby. Doing so helps you to connect with your child and allows you to respond to his/her needs before the onset of the crying stage. Make an offer your baby won't refuse Most Mums and Dads are surprised to learn that their babies have the ability to choose what they want via open communication. Whenever Blossom was hungry, she would make a particular facial gesture that Vivien would mirror back to her. Blossom would then reproduce the sign and Vivien's response was to offer her breast for breastfeeding to see if that's what Blossom wanted. Nine times out of ten, Vivien's observation of the sign and her gut instincts were right. However, if Blossom didn't want that particular breast, she'd continue making the 'Hungry' gesture until Vivien offered her the other breast. Hard to believe, I know - but TRUE. In this case, mother and daughter were able to communicate seamlessly and simply. It all takes time As with most things in life, you won’t get everything perfect on the first attempt. Learning to zoom in on your baby's subtle gestures isn't a skill that is learned in the blink of an eye, but many parents become easily frustrated if everything doesn't flow smoothly from the start. Although there are gestures and signs that have a common thread or some level of similarity, most will vary depending on your baby. Remember that each infant is different and part of the process of communicating with your little one is spending the time to bond with your new bundle of joy and moulding them to become an Inspired Child. Contrary to popular belief, babies have the ability to communicate with their parents. While the language of most adults falls in the realm of verbal communication, babies express their feelings, desires, wants, and needs through non-verbal sources. All it takes for parents to master the life skills needed to effectively communicate with their child is an open mind and keen eyes. For more tips on how to communicate with your baby, have a look at The Blossom Method: The Revolutionary Way to Communicate With Your Baby From Birth and you’ll feel more confident as a parent and more connected to your baby. In part two of this interview with Vivien you’ll learn more about the Blossom Method and its man benefits including that babies whose parents consistently responded to their needs during their formative years were more likely to form healthier, more stable social bonds and relationships as they became older. A bit about Vivien Sabel Vivien is a mum, a stepmother, a grandmother, a researcher, a psychotherapist, and a clinical supervisor. As a woman of many hats, she has had the chance to view the wonderful world of Parenting through many different eyes and frequently writes about her experiences, observations, and recommendations in a variety of journal articles, blogs, and books. Her most recent paper focuses on 'Life after Delivery' and she has a number of guest blogs on websites like Planet Talks. Her book, ' The Blossom Method ', and website,  www.viviensabel.com , delve into the world of baby communication and teach parents how to effectively and efficiently open get in touch with their babies' needs and emotions via body language.

Learning to effectively and efficiently communicate with your baby at an early age has huge implications in both the short and long term period. It not only strengthens the bonds between parents and their children, it also helps foster the conditions needed to raise Inspired Children. I recently interviewed Vivien Sabel, author of The Blossom Method: The Revolutionary Way to Communicate With Your Baby From Birth discovered that babies communicate meaningfully with their parents from day one but unfortunately, most parents haven’t been able to understand the subtle signs, signals, and non-verbal cues of their infant's language. Vivien had so much to share that I summarised it in a two part series, offering helpful advice on how Mums and Dads can learn what to look for and be empowered to actually communicate with their babies.   Lack of communication also affects parents Vivien often sees parents in her practice who are frustrated with the lack of communication and contact with their own parents. Many adults report negative parenting experiences from their own childhood and, ironically enough, their own children also report having the same issues with them. It's a vicious cycle that is constantly perpetuated along generational lines and at the root of the matter, is the inability to learn how to understand subtle body cues, relate to unheard non-verbal gestures that speak volumes, and connect with each other from early on in life. As a type 'baby sign language', The Blossom Method starts the process early by opening and keeping the communication between parents and their babies going long before the little ones learn to talk. Children understand from an early age that they are being heard and acknowledged, which eventually makes speech development, mutual trust, and respect flow effortlessly. The long lasting implications The research has shown that babies whose parents consistently responded to their needs during their formative years were more likely to form healthier, more stable social bonds and relationships as they became older. One theory is that early communication helps children become emotionally intelligent, making them better able to express themselves and self regulate, which in turn, builds self confidence, self-esteem, and resilience. Their emotional and cognitive development is usually more advanced than babies who lacked this great opportunity early in life. Open other avenues of communication Like most parents, I understood the importance of being there for my son early on in his life. Imagine how frustrating it can be if you were in desperate need of something, but despite your best efforts, trying to make those around you understand your feelings and thoughts was almost impossible? Imagine how frustrating it is as an adult when you're trying to get your point across, but people just don't get it? Now imagine doing that and being young and vulnerable! One of the benefits of the Blossom Method for new parents and the Inspired Children program for parents of 4-14 year old children is that they help parents and their children find more creative ways to communication. When our son Cameron was young I tried to be creative in our communication and I found that he also opened up more unique ways for him to get his point across. As a baby, he mimicked my hand movements long before he could speak which, in a sense, was his way of learning to sign (but not in the traditional way of learning sign language – just our own unique sign language – but it really worked for us). His little gestures made me wonder about how much more information he was trying to tell me that I couldn't understand because I couldn't interpret it. I realised that he grasped I was trying really hard to understand him, so he was patient and willing to keep making gestures and signs until I actually did. As he grew older and his communication became words - sometimes words only he understood - he remained patient with me when I didn’t understand and used different words and gestures. I think he has developed a skill for life in his ability to patiently persist and use many ways get his point across. As  toddler Cameron couldn’t say the “c” or “k” sound. I remember this incident clearly, he was trying to tell me about a “clock” and as you can imagine without the “c” sound I just couldn’t get it no many times he repeated the word. After several attempts he did his best to say “Tit Tot” in relation to clock and I finally got it I repeated “tick tock clock” and the smile beamed across his face and I praised is tenacity in helping me to understand! I truly believe that our early and continued effective and respectful communication will serve him well for life. Another great example of how creative ways of communication can open up our understanding of not just what they are thinking but what our children are feeling is from Vivien's daughter, Blossom. When she was very young, her older brother didn’t live with them and after a family trip she felt sad about seeing her older brother leave, she turned to her mum and expressed that her chest hurts. "Where does it hurt?" "Where my heart lives." After observing Blossom's body language, Vivien was able to deduce that she was sad to see her brother leave and expressed how much she already missed him. Blossom used her body to convey her emotional state and Vivien was able to understand to true meaning of what her daughter was saying almost in an instant. Mimicking is the key to being a good listener Vivien explains that many times, parents believe that by engaging their children in family activities, they can develop a rapport with their kids. Sadly, this isn't the case. Playing with your child doesn't automatically make your child open up to you about their feelings and parents need to learn how to understand all the things that their children aren't saying and be able to reflect their general mood. If your child has had a rough day at school and comes home listless and sluggish, they aren't going to open up to you if your mood is upbeat and vibrant. Your child will feel disconnected and believe that you wouldn't really understand what has happened in his life. If parents can learn to take subtle cues from their children's body language and reflect it back to them, they are more likely to get their kids to open up about deeper issues. Never underestimate their children's emotional intelligence As a therapist Vivien often observes that oftentimes parents have experienced something in their own childhood that has kept them in the childlike state or that takes them mentally back to a time in childhood. Sometimes this feeds into their interactions and conversations with their children and that’s where it can harm relationships. For example, we’ve all experienced it - sometimes a parenting situation triggers an old wound from childhood where you were rejected, misunderstood or felt unloved and then unconsciously it’s easy to slip back into that 9-year old little girl or that 3 ½ year old little boy which then blocks parents ability to really listen and communicate with their children in the here and now. Furthermore, parents often think that they are protecting their children by avoiding or oversimplifying ideas, when in actuality, children are very sensitive to the non-verbal cues and body language that is being expressed. They read that things are not all right with either parent or in the home in general, and sadly, come to accept that, "if it’s okay for Mum or Dad to hide their emotions and tell me that everything is all right when I can feel and I can see it’s not, then I should do so as well – that’s the right thing to do." Well we are their role model – if it isn’t right why are we doing it? Children are much smarter than we give them credit for, so if parents want build a great rapport with their kids, then they need to display that same level of openness that they expect from their children.  Calmer more confident parents There's no denying it; the implications of being able to understand and respond to the needs of your baby has far reaching impact in the quality of your life and your child’s life from childhood through to old age. Parents who have used the  Blossom Method  often tell Vivien that they find themselves being calmer and more confident when they first hold their precious little one in their arms for the first time. Since they have learned to quickly recognise and understand the meaning of general facial gestures from their newborn, they feel armed and prepared to delve into the world of Parenting. New Mums and Dads find that their anxiety is minimised and, in turn, isn't reflected onto their infants, resulting in a more positive bonding experience for everyone. Building rapport with your children involves much more than chatting over a bowl of cereal; it requires a deeper understanding of the numerous non-verbal cues from both parents and their kids. Learning the essential life skills of effective Communication and emotional intelligence begins from as early as the first hour after birth and lasts throughout your children’s lives as the communicate with family, friends and peers. By creating the mental, emotional, and physical conditions that will foster such development, parents can ensure that their kids will grow to be well-balanced, happy, and healthy Inspired Children.

Parents want to raise respectful children who make good choices. We want our kids to be well behaved and choose the right way to act in the world and the right way to speak with people. If your children do something “naughty” or act “disrespectfully,” how do you help your children to learn the right thing to do? Do you get angry and yell at the kids or do you send them into time out?   Do you give them a reward if they have good behaviour or take something away if they do the wrong thing? I was hit as a child and I hated it. I also hated seeing my siblings get hit as well. So I was determined not to hit our son. When I’ve yelled at our son, or put him in time out or made him do things for a reward or punishment - it didn’t feel good to me… I felt guilty and I hated seeing him upset. I can’t imagine any parent who likes disciplining and punishing their children... it doesn't feel good to yell, put them in time out or smack them. They are our precious babes ... but at the same time we can't have them running wild right? So I asked the questions: What if there was a different way to help our kids learn the right thing to do? What if we could raise kids without hitting, yelling or sending them away? Is there a way we can control our anger and temper and not yell at the kids? I was desperate to find a better way!!! I’ve been doing research for a number of years about different ways to teach our kids how to be in the world without discipline or punishment and instead using empathy and education. By trial and error I’ve been trying everything I’ve learned with our son and he is a wonderful boy. I have so many examples of how I’ve used empathy and education when he “drew on his bed with permanent markers” and “tipped the liquid soap down the sink” and much more… Parenting is about nurturing and educating our children to become the best they can be for themselves, in their families and to their communities. So if you're sick of trying to control your kids with authority, strictness and a firm hand and you'd like to learn more effective and loving ways to raise kids then listen in. With empathy and education you’re teaching kids how to problem- solve, learn about the natural consequences of bad choices and to build a lasting respectful relationship with your children.  In this interview, Dr Robyn Mills and I discuss the pro's and cons of various common forms of discipline and punishment used by parents. I also share insights into a life skills approach to parenting which eliminates the need for discipline and punishment. Intrigued? Listen in and get loads of positive parenting advice for raising well adjusted respectful children.

I recently interviewed Dr Robinson on the Inspired Children radio program where she shared her research on the negative impact of stress in pregnancy as well as ways to help pregnant mothers reduce their stress.  Dr Robinson shares her insights into early detection and support for children with physical, behavioural and emotional issues. Early signs of future problems Young children with behavioural problems can display a series of traits at opposite ends of a spectrum from disengaged or withdrawn to aggressive and hyperactive. At the introverted end of the spectrum where a child that is withdrawn and quiet and refuses to engage others in conversation, it is not always easy to tell if a child has a behavioural issue or is simply shy and requires coaching and support in social interactions. By their very nature, children are naturally curious beings, so a child who doesn't want to go out and explore, is sad, cries a lot, or often displays signs of separation anxiety (especially for prolonged periods) it is advisable to seek professional help. Early intervention is crucial because if a child is not given help to overcome these issues, the problems are likely to continue into the teen years. On the other end of the spectrum is a toddler who is overly aggressive, hyperactive and generally disobedient. Once again early intervention is recommended as a child who displays a lack of forward thinking or deeper understanding of the consequences of his or her actions and is driven by impulses is likely to make poor life choices which can be very dangerous in the teen years. Childhood issues become an avalanche of emotions in teen years The wonder and intrigue about human beings is that they are unique and unpredictable, so it’s hard to describe the impact of hormonal changes in adolescents on their behavioural issues. Children who are aggressive as a toddler and into the during the pre-teen years, may not necessarily remain aggressive in the teen years. Some teens become more aggressive, whereas others fall into a state of depression when they realise that their behavioural issues make it difficult for others to bond with them and they feel isolated. On the other hand, there are teens who use this social isolation as an opportunity to seek family or professional support to enable them to re-evaluate, understand their behavioural patterns and make a concerted effort to change in order to break free from their status as social misfits and outcasts. Sadly, the complications of puberty coupled with issues that are carried over from childhood can create major problems for teens and their parents, especially when more serious issues, like sexual promiscuity, drug abuse, cutting or eating disorders, emerge. Research shows that teaching children life skills can reduce their use of alcohol and other substance abuse. Parents wanting to know more about how to support their children’s self esteem, resilience and other life skills see   Inspired Children: How the leading minds of today raise their kids  where Dr Michael Hall shares his wealth of insights into raising psychologically healthy children,  Dr Joe Dispenza explains how parents can teach their children emotional intelligence, Maggie Dent discusses how to save our children form this chaotic world by helping them manage stress and anxiety... and so much more. Inspired Children turns the science of child development into the art of parenting. This means parents can make informed parenting decisions based on the latest research into child development. About Dr. Monique Robinson As an Australian Rotary Health Post-Doctoral Research fellow at the  Telethon Institute for Child Health Research , Dr. Monique Robinson's research revolves around determining the early life risk factors that later lead to mental health problems in kids and teens. She has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and has garnered numerous accolades for her contribution to this area of research. Monique is a registered psychologist and she is one of the contributors to the book:  Inspired Children:  How the leading minds of today raise their kids, where she goes into more detail about her research and how mothers can manage stress in pregnancy to give their babies the best start in life. In the field of Prenatal, Child, and Adolescent Mental Health, one of Monique’s biggest research projects to date looks at the stress experienced by mothers during pregnancy and how these common stress factors can increase the risk of behavioural problems in children.

Human babies are among the most vulnerable living beings. Left alone, they die in a matter of hours or days at most. Babies depend on their carers for their physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing and how they experience their early years can have a significant impact on how they live their whole life. When our son Cameron was born, I felt vulnerable and overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising another human being. What did I know about his nurturing his physical, psychological and emotional development? As a parent, thinking about how I might ‘wreck’ him was really scary. For the last five years I have been reading the latest research in child development and parenting, and it has helped me to feel more confident as a parent. My research has revealed that there are a number of fundamental basics that help parents grow their vulnerable babies into capable, caring and inspired adults. While I’m certainly not claiming to have all of the answers, and even if I did, I could hardly fit them all in one blog post, nevertheless I’d like to share some of the key things I’ve learned about raising happy, healthy and well-adjusted children. START PREPARING BEFORE CONCEPTION The new science of epigenetics shows that your lifestyle choices prior to conceiving your child affect your child’s development. Your physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing can either have a positive or negative effect on your unborn child. A healthy lifestyle gives your baby the best start in life through the parent’s sperm and egg. PREGNANCY Mothers to be who enjoy a balanced whole food diet, engage in regular exercise and, for the most part are rested and calm during their pregnancy, create the best environment for their baby to form a healthy physical body including their brain development. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Once your baby arrives, give her love, love and more love! Of course, this is a no brainer but as it is so important, it bears mention. Cuddle, kiss, hold, interact with, respond to and love your baby. The more that babies are held, talked to and experience a safe world the more secure they feel and the more they learn and develop. BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND INSPIRED Parents are a child’s most influential role model. If you lead a happy, healthy and inspired life, you help your child to learn how to do just that. A happy and healthy parent is more likely to have the time, patience and care to raise an inspired child. A tired, depressed and unhealthy parent is neither a good role model for their child or will have what it take to support their development. FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD The bond between people is determined by the depth of love, care, respect and admiration they have for each other. Supporting the relationship between a parent and a child must be at the heart of all parenting decisions. Parents can ask themselves ‘how will my actions impact my child and our relationship?’ For example: yelling at my child and calling him names is likely to have a negative impact on our relationship. On the other hand, care, consideration and respectful communication will grow our love and bond with each other. LIFE SKILL APPROACH TO PARENTING We want our children to be enabled in life. Taking a life skill approach to parenting means that parents can nurture their child’s development across many key areas including: the development of healthy self-esteem, resilience, financial literacy, ability to relate to others, a good understanding of nutrition and the importance of exercise, how to manage emotions and behaviours and the ability to set and achieve their goals… just to name a few. If parents take just 10-15 minutes a day to help their children develop life skills they will be giving their children a strong foundation for life success. Remember, if you empower your children by teaching them how to think, how to create supportive working and family relationships and how to manage their emotions and behaviours rather than ‘telling’ them what to think and how to act and who to be, then you can feel confident that your children will be able to navigate life successfully even when you are not there to protect and to guide them.

Parents often feel guilty about their parenting. Perhaps you feel that too? Mums and dads often feel guilty about working long hours and not spending enough time with the kids, being short tempered and yelling a lot or feeling helpless when your children are having a hard time with friends or school. BUT, feeling guilty and stressed about parenting actually undermines your parenting. When you feel guilty and stressed you feel bad so you’re unlikely to come up with a great idea to resolve the issue and you’ll behave out of guilt or anger instead of love. So when you think about it like that you can see that feeling guilty is NOT what good parenting is about. What can you do? Research studies have shown that it is not about the quantity of time but the quality of time parents spend with their children that has the best outcomes. Instead of feeling guilty, can you: make time to read with your young child which will support your child’s language development and inspire a love of learning. go for a walk with your teenager, check in and ask how things are going. Then listen, listen, listen without offering advice, so you’re adolescent knows you’re interested and you’re there if they need support. make a favourite meal and have one or more relaxed dinners together as a family with everyone having a turn to share their highlights of the day. find a little time in the evening, like just before bed, that you can have some quiet time together with your child and tell them how much you love them. It’s these short quality interactions with your child that makes for good parenting.

Are you a "softie" when it comes to raising your children or are you "tougher" on your kids? While every parent or carer wants the best for their children, parents and carers may not always agree on the "best" way or the "right" way to parent. Some parents prefer to take a firmer or disciplinarian approach to raising their children, others may prefer a gentler collaborative parenting approach. These differences can result in conflict between parents and confuse children.  If you’d like to know how to manage different approaches to parenting with your parenting partner then this interview on ABC Brisbane "Afternoons with Katherine Feeney" is for you. Parenting expert, Dr Rosina McAlpine, creator of the Win Win Parenting program shares: A range of different approaches to parenting and their impact on children. The challenges parent’s face when they're not on the same page. How to overcome conflict when there are different approaches to raising children. It's just 15 mins! Enjoy!

The news is filled with stories on bullying in schools, bullying in the workplace and with the increased use of technology, cyberbullying can be a constant, never-ending and relentless attack on your child. While some acts are clearly bullying – like a child regularly, wilfully, and intentionally physically hurting another child - other acts are not as easy to recognise as bullying. Do you know the difference between bullying and kids just having some harmless fun together? As a loving parent it’s important for to know the distinction so you can help your child navigate life’s challenges. Children need to be able to protect themselves from bullies and also be able to manage light-hearted play without it causing them to feel overwhelmed by hurt or stress. It’s also really important to make sure your own children are treating each other with care and respect and one child isn’t being allowed to bully their sibling. Every parent wants to raise happy, healthy and well-balanced kids. BUT, it’s not always easy to know the “right” thing to do. There is so much conflicting parenting advice today, leaving parents confused, especially when it comes to bullying. What is the right approach? SHOULD I LET THE KIDS SORT IT OUT THEMSELVES? But what if that ends in someone getting seriously hurt. SHOULD I INTERVENE AND HELP MY CHILDREN LEARN THE RIGHT WAY TO BE? But what if this makes it worse for my child and they don’t get the chance to learn how to handle life’s challenges. SHOULD I STEP BACK AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS AND IF IT’S NOT GOING THE RIGHT WAY – INTERVENE THEN? But what if I’m too late! What if I don’t do anything and something really bad happens – I’d never forgive myself.

Are your children grateful for the people, the possessions and the experiences in their lives? Well, research shows that it can be of benefit for your children to develop an “attitude of gratitude”. Being grateful helps children become aware of and appreciate the good things in their lives and not take them for granted. This allows children to know what is important in their life and what makes them happy, which helps them identify and achieve life goals for a full and inspired life! Studies also show both mental and physical benefits for people who are actively grateful on a daily basis. For example: grateful people are healthier as they take better care of themselves in relation to diet and exercise gratitude helps people cope better with daily issues especially managing stress gratitude helps people be more optimistic which boosts the immune system.  So, what can parents do to help their children practice gratitude? Here are some activities that you could invite your children to complete to help them achieve the many benefits of being grateful and learn skills for life.  Journaling. You may like to give your child a special note book or journal to record all of the aspects of their life they are grateful for. Assure them that it’s fine to write the same things every day and really appreciate those things again and again! The journal entries can be in words or pictures. Encourage your child to write and or draw on a regular basis. Bed time thank you’s. Every night invite your child to share with you what they are grateful for and then you can share what you are grateful for with your child. It is a lovely way to go to sleep! It could go something along the lines of “thank you for my parents, for my baby sister, for my bear, for the park I play in etc”… If your child runs out of ideas, you can share some of the things you are grateful for that are relevant to your child for example “I am grateful for a family to care for and who care about me, I am grateful for all the lovely food we have, I am grateful for our home, my books and my friends. Encouraging an attitude of gratitude will help your children focus on the good aspects of their lives and children who do this regularly are generally happier, healthier and lead more fulfilling lives.

Life is really busy, right? While busy can be exciting, more often than not it also leads to a lot of stress! We all know that prolonged stress is harmful for our health and it’s estimated that 95% of all diseases stem from stress. What many pregnant women may not know is that stress during pregnancy can also be harmful to their babies. Research shows that when mums-to-be experience stressful pregnancies, there is an increased likelihood that their children will develop physical, behavioural and emotional problems.Dr Monique Robinson has been researching this area for over a decade and shares her research in Chapter 2 of my book  Inspired Children:  How the leading minds of today raise their kids. I interviewed Dr Robinson on the Inspired Children radio program where she shared the impact of stress in pregnancy on babies as well as ways that pregnant mothers can reduce their stress and I’ve summarised some of the key points from our interview in this article an a follow-up article as a two part series on my blog. Stress is on the rise and so is ADD and ADHD Have you noticed that there is an increase the overall stress levels in our society today when compared with just the last decade? Most people feel some level of stress on a daily basis especially if they have children. Pregnant women and no exception as this can be a highly stressful time of life. The worry is that increased stress during pregnancy can be linked to the growing the number of children with emotional, behavioural and other issues like ADD and ADHD. So what can parents do? The first thing is to educate mums and dads-to-be that there is a biological connection between stress during pregnancy and the emotional and mental health of their babies. While some level of anxiety is a normal part of daily life, prolonged stress can adversely affect the development of your child long before a baby is even born. It's the little things that matter Stressful events happen in the world on a daily basis – some affect individuals while others can affect a nation. Most pregnant women will not experience stress from a cataclysmic event like a major earthquake or man-made natural disaster. In fact, it's the events that occur in our everyday lives that have the greatest potential to do harm the developing baby. Financial issues, death in the family, relationship problems, worrying about what a mother-to-be can and can’t eat can all add up and result in more and more stress for both the mother and the baby. Individually, these things don’t seem like they could have an impact, but when multiple factors are at play all at once or occur sequentially over a long time, they can not only have an impact on the pregnancy woman’s health but also her child’s development. This is how it works: The physiological impact of stress When a pregnant woman is exposed to stress factors, her body automatically goes into'fight, flight or freeze' mode as a defence mechanism to help her survive. Stress triggers the release of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol which prepares the body to react and these hormones increase the heart rate, constrict blood vessels, and prepare the muscles and lungs to do more work. The body becomes hypersensitive to stimuli in an effort to ensure that there is no delay in the transmission of nerve signals in the body so the mother can have a quick response time to get away from danger! While these reactions may beneficial in the short term if there is a physical danger the mother needs to get out of the way of like a moving car, however, our main life stresses aren’t usually solved by moving more quickly for example: money problems, relationship issues or the death of a family or friend!   Our body’s aren’t designed to maintain a heightened level of  stress for long periods of time, as a result, heart muscles and various organs become overworked and fatigued.These stress hormones also pulse through the baby’s bloodstream via the umbilical chord, so the baby is also in a heightened state of stress causing harm to the growingfoetus. Nature versus Nurture The longstanding debate of nature versus nurture informs our understanding the physical impact of stress on both mother and child. Although it is true that a foetus will inherit certain genetic tendencies from its parents, it is the exposure to environment – that is the stimuli within the womb – that determines which genes get switched on and which get switched off, therefore making the baby predisposed to certain conditions later in life. When an unborn child is constantly in an environment that is flooded with stress hormones and always in 'ready-for-battle' mode, the body and brain will develop in response to this heightened state of stress.  Research has shown that babies experiencing a calmer environment in the womb are more likely to develop a larger forebrain and be more intelligent. On the other hand, babies experiencing heightened stress in the womb are more likely to develop larger muscles (making them stronger to tackle the danger), a larger hindbrain and are more hyper-alert to the environment helping them be more ready for ‘fighting and defending themselves’.  That is, the environment the child is experiencing in the womb is shaping and preparing it for survival in the outside world. The stress hormones in the mother’s blood also cause her body to reduce the flow of key nutrients to her womb, which in turn starves her baby of valuable trace elements, vitamins, and minerals needed for body and brain development. Research shows that stressful pregnancies are more likely to result in underweight babies with lower IQs who are more prone to mental issues like chronic depression, irritability, and ADD and ADHD and other behavioural issues. What's a mother to do? A body can either be in growth and repair or fight or flight. We need to give the developing foetus the best chance for physical and psychological growth and that occurs most effectively in a calm and safe environment. While the physiological and psychological impact of prolonged exposure to stress during pregnancy carries a huge weight on the health of an unborn baby, going through a stressful pregnancy will not automatically result in a negative impact on the baby. While of course it is imperative for pregnant mums to reduce their exposure to stress where possible, where this was not possible, for example with the death of a loved one, serious financial issues or other unmanageable stresses, it is important to know that the human body is truly amazing and with the right stimuli after childbirth and throughout your child's formative years, your baby will be able to recuperate from a difficult start in life and remediate some of the potentially long lasting negative effects of stress. Stress can greatly impact the mental, emotional, and physical development of a child.As such, expectant mothers need to take every precaution to guard against becoming stressed and fatigued. It is not just the responsibility of the mother, if everyone in the family (and for that matter in society) supports pregnant women, we support not only that mother but the physical and emotional development of their babies – our future generations. In part 2, Dr Robinson talks about early detection and support for children with physical, behavioural and emotional issues. About Dr. Monique Robinson As an Australian Rotary Health Post-Doctoral Research fellow at the  Telethon Institute for Child Health Research , Dr. Monique Robinson's research revolves around determining the early life risk factors that later lead to mental health problems in kids and teens. She has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and has garnered numerous accolades for her contribution to this area of research. Monique is a registered psychologist and she is one of the contributors to the book:  Inspired Children: How the leading minds of today raise their kids , where she goes into more detail about her research and how mothers can manage stress in pregnancy to give their babies the best start in life. In the field of Prenatal, Child, and Adolescent Mental Health, one of Monique’s biggest research projects to date looks at the stress experienced by mothers during pregnancy and how these common stress factors can increase the risk of behavioural problems in children.